stardust|completed

sixteen|fate

"I feel her filth in my bones, wash off my hands til it's gone."
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My room was chaos. Compared to the rest of the house my room looked like the local dump. But somehow I knew where everything was, so the mess didn't phase me. Orion, on the other hand, looked a little flabbergasted.

"So this is where you've been hiding the mess," he mumbled under his breath gazing at the numerous items littering my floor.

In short my room was a record filled, poster plastered, book holder. Multiple paintings and drawings covered my desk. Colored pencils and paints were placed in overflowing containers. Paper cranes hung from the ceiling with glow in the dark stars filling in any empty spaces. To top everything off white fairly lights lined the walls.

"Organized chaos is the term I prefer," flopping on my bed I gestured Orion to take a seat next to me.

He wriggled his eyebrows but made his way towards me without any perverted comments. Whilst he was still studying his surroundings I got up and placed on one of my favorite records.

"I've got a lot of questions," I whispered lowly taking a seat next to Orion again. The tension in the room went up a few notches as Orion began to shift around uncomfortably.

After a few moments of awkward silence he finally sighed.

"I do too," he looked over at me with soft grey eyes.

"I'll start off easy," the truth was I didn't know a lot about Orion. We had only met a short time ago, and whilst I had more serious questions to ask it would be easier to ask the simple ones first.

I mean I couldn't ask him about his mental health without knowing if he liked chocolate milk or strawberry milk better.

"Chocolate or strawberry milk?" I asked him with a soft smile.

He looked relieved at the simplicity of the question and gave me a grateful look before his face melted back to his constant look of utter confidence.

"Strawberry."

"Your dessert of choice?"

"M&M cookies, but they have to be color coordinated." He said decidedly.

Good to know, I tucked the new information away for future reference.

"What do you enjoy to do the most?"

"Kiss you," his small smirk turned into a full I grin when he noticed my choked exhale.

My next question died on my tongue and my mouth dried up. Deciding to actually throw something back at him rather than sit before him wide eyed, I fired a quick response before the silence stretched on too long.

"Your not the first boy whose said that to me," a complete and utter lie. But Orion didn't have to know that.

"But I'll be the last," before I could decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing he leaned in and connected our lips briefly.

I remained quiet for a few moments after and Orion took his chance to ask me a question.

"How'd you get those bruises Nyx?" He asked tenderly while one of his hands hovered over my arms.

No easy questions for me, I thought begrudgingly. What was I supposed to say? That sometimes I get lost in a sea of my own thoughts so deeply that I became unaware of my physical surroundings. That sometimes the creatures made of shadows creep towards me and the only way to rid myself of them is to bash them senselessly.

I couldn't say those things, I couldn't let Orion leave.

I wasn't in love with the lanky, motorcycle driving, grey eyed boy. I didn't need him in my life. But he made me happy, and I learned from a very young age to hold on to the things that make you smile.

Although I wouldn't tell Orion the entire truth I didn't plan on lying either.

"Self inflicted," was my short but true answer.

Not wanting to see his reaction I kept my eyes trained on his long fingers and asked him a question.

"What were you doing on the tracks that night?"

"The same thing you were about to do," his hand gently moved my chin so that I was looking him in the eyes

"Why did you stop me?" My voice came out watery and my throat started to tense as I held back tears.

His lips curled up and he shook his head softly.
"I didn't stop you Nyx, you stopped yourself. All I did was flick my lighter to see were the tracks started, it was fate."

"Fate? If anything it was a coincidence."

He laughed loudly, "Always the realist aren't you? A world this big doesn't allow for coincidences."

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4/2/16