Rushing Waters [ Ichimatsu x Depressed!Reader ]

What happens when you have nightmares.

TW; cutting, suicide(?)

**pro tip don't listen to the music until reader starts playing. i will que the music with the two stars like in the start of the pro tip,

⠀⠀Finally I gave in checked the text messages I received from them. Seemed like they all were texting me at the same time. Literally, I think a fight went on. The text messages ranged from what to do with them and when to come over. They're a handful. So midway movie I responded with:
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⠀⠀⠀⠀We can figure out time with <
each other later. Can't come over tomorrow, I have work if you recall my working schedule, but you all can come over to apartment when I get off from work. Goodnight.
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⠀⠀It's the best way to respond in my opinion. Now there probably will be a hoard of text messages soon if they aren't in bed yet. I just shut off the movie, turned off all the lights in the main room of the apartment. I walked over to my bedroom and got changed into pajamas. I head to the restroom as I brushed my teeth and washed my face. Then I walked back into my bedroom and I got into bed, put my phone on it's charger and then went to bed.
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⠀⠀Soon the darkness lightened up. It revealed to the day of when I tried to die. I turned around to see six diverse colored hoodies on six different people. They all were the same height, same position, same hairstyle and no face. That all changed when one held out their hand, specifically the purple one so I took the hand. Next thing that happened is all six faces went black as a white creepy smiley face appeared. I hesitantly brought my hand away from the purple one and took a step back. They all got closer until I got to the edge of the cliff. It felt like I was crying. The purple one took their hand and pushed me off the cliff. Falling into the rushing waters, sinking deeper into the water. I struggled to breathe and swim up to live but that all failed. I sank deeper as it got darker.
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⠀⠀I woke up, struggling to breathe and sweat dropped down my forehead. I had stared at nothing as I slowly caught my breath. I slowly got up out of bed, I walked over towards the bathroom. Grabbing a rag and wet it. I wiped my face as I glanced at a blade. My hand, shaking, reached for the blade. I placed the shape edge against skin of my arm and quickly moved it to the side while it dragged on my skin, causing a new scar on my arm. I did this a couple more times before thinking it was enough.
⠀⠀I grabbed out gauze pads, medical tape, and ointment. And squirt out a little ointment and rubbed it on the new scars. I ripped off three long pieces of medical tape before grabbing out a gauze pad. I placed the gauze pad over the scars then placed the three pieces of tape on the gauze pad and wrapped around the arm. Specifically the top, middle, and bottom of the pad. At least you can make up an excuse for having this on my arm. I could say I hurt myself badly in the dark when I tripped and scrapped my arm. I checked the time and it was soon almost time for me to get ready for work anyways.
⠀⠀I walked out into the kitchen to eat breakfast. Grabbed out a bowl, a brand of cereal, milk, and a spoon. I poured cereal into the bowl then the milk. I placed the bowl of cereal on the table with the spoon in the bowl. I put the milk and cereal away. I turned on the instant coffee machine so it can heat up. I soon sat at the table with my bowl of cereal in front of me.
⠀⠀After eating breakfast and having a nice breakfast, I took a shower then blow dried my hair. I brushed it out so it wouldn't be tangled up. Next, I brushed my teeth. Need my breath to smell nice and my teeth to be healthy, right? So I picked out an outfit like just a plain black t-shirt and some yoga pants, like the ones that go like a couple of inches below the knees, and some tennis shoes on. It's something to be comfortable in as I would be sitting in there until 4:30 PM. There was a lot of music to practice. Once I get out there, I made myself a small cup of coffee. Ya know, nothing like Sutabaa. Soon, it was time for me to leave so I grabbed my violin that was in a soft violin case and wore it on my back. Then I grabbed a book that contained all of the music that I needed to play. Last thing I grabbed was a drawstring bag that had my lunch that I bought yesterday, some important stuff like money, identification and stuff like that, earphones and my charger. I tried not to overpack but it's eh.
⠀⠀I checked my phone to see only a couple of text messages and notifications. The text messages were from the Matsuno's even though they were using Todomatsu's phone. It didn't seem like the five sociable matsu's were texting so it was probably Ichimatsu.
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⠀⠀> if anything maybe you could stop by tomorrow on your way home from work
⠀⠀>if it won't be a hassle for you to do that.
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⠀⠀I didn't know how to reply so I just turned off my phone and walked over to the theater. I kept think about the nightmare I had last night...it was bothering me. Bothering me so much I had to listen to some MLP music shit to try to bring my feeling up. I kept listening to the Rainbow Rocks album by the way. Once I made it there, I gm turned off the music and headed in. Now I'm ready to start the day.
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⠀⠀~-------[ this lovely timeskip is brought to you by nothing. nothing is sponsoring this story. ]-------~
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⠀⠀After work, I checked my phone since I had shut it down before actually rehearsals. Damn, two minutes were wasted of my life. It speNT THAT MUXH TIME JUST TO LOAD THE TEXT MESSAGES. It was all a lot but if I had to sum it up, it was almost about the same stuff yesterday, that I should come over after work, and they were...worried about me. I shrugged it off as I gathered my stuff, double checked I had everything, and left the theater. I walked down to the Matsuno household, nervous actually. And to let out that nervousness, I talk about how I feel but  to myself quietly.
⠀⠀"Should I go in? What if that's what they actually want to do to me? What would happen if I tried to avoid them before I get any close to the point I have to tell them about myself? Should I keep my distance? Oh well, it was just a nightmare...right? Just walk in (Y/N)...just walk.....in......" My hand reached near the door to slide it open but I was on the verge of tears. I can't let them see me like this. I sucked it up and plastered a fake smile on my face.
⠀⠀I opened the door and shouted "I'm here!" to let the brothers know I'm here. Well their mother heard so she came running down towards.
⠀⠀"Hello there dear, are you here to see one of my NEETs? Maybe give birth to some grandchildren?" The mother asked me while shaking my hand.
⠀⠀"W-What?! Grandchildren?! I just met them!" I stated as I jerked my hand back as I just noticed the brother behind their mom. Did I just fuck up? Think so. "Sorry.." I bowed as I backed up towards the door to leave.
⠀⠀The mother gave me a smile. "It's okay." She said and walked away. I opened the door again to leave but the sextuplets walked towards me, smiling, trying to hug me and greeting me. I slowly shut the door and took off my shoes. I sighed as one came really close to hug me.
⠀⠀"(Y/N)-chan!" Jyushimatsu shouted as his hug was tight. I chuckled nervously, not know what to say or do. "Can you play us a song on your violin?" Jyushimatsu asked. The brothers got closer, guess they wanted to hear me play. Nice going, (Y/N).
⠀⠀I nodded as they all scampered off into another room where they all hang out. They sat down in front of the couch, waited for me to start playing. I sat down on my knees about three to four feet away from them. I got out my instrument, attached my shoulder rest, tightened my bow, made sure each string was in tune. Now my heart was pounding. I hated playing in front of others. That's why I like playing in the pit.
⠀⠀"W-Well, I'm going to play a song from memory. If I'm correct it's called...Echoes of Bartok. It's a fairly easy piece." I got into position, back straight violin on my shoulder, my hand gripped onto the bow in the specific bow grip. My wrist was out and my hand placed in first position. I was ready to start playing. **(start the video/music)
⠀⠀I let my right hand glide as I played the notes. Playing the eighth notes, slurs, quarter notes, high note and low notes. Even though it sounded a but aggressive it was also peaceful at times. I could played apart of the New World Symphony but I chose not to. Once I ended, I put my instrument in rest position.
⠀⠀"So-"
⠀⠀Before I could finish my sentence they were clapping. They wore a different types of smiles on their faces. This helped my self confidence a bit when playing. I smiled back at them and whispered. "thank you." I wasn't really sure about them still but I guess I can trust them.
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if only I can write this much normally lmao. but yeah I had a lot in mind for this chapter and I'm quite proud even though I lost sleep but eh.