Rushing Waters [ Ichimatsu x Depressed!Reader ]

Sleepover

TW!; CUTTING

⠀⠀After spending most of the day with Ichimatsu, I've come to realize he has never come over to my apartment. So why not have a sleepover at my apartment? "Hey Ichi, want to sleep over at my apartment since I've slept over your house about three times." I asked as we were in an alleyway feeding cats.
⠀⠀He looked over at me and lightly blushing. "Sure. Why not." he replied as he stood up. I stood up, following him out of the alleyway. I texted Todomatsu that Ichimatsu is staying at my place for the night. As I led him to the apartment building I was staying in, he looked up to see the tall buildings. I giggle at his actions as I had to practically drag him into the building. We entered the elevator, pressing the number that took me to the right level of the apartment building that I stayed on. I led him to my apartment, unlocking the door and opening it. I held it open for Ichi to walk through.
⠀⠀"You first, Ichi." I said as I smiled. He entered the apartment and took off his shoes. I entered as I closed the door behind me then taking off my shoes also. What the fuck are you doing, (Y/N). The thoughts rolled in at the wrong time. I tried not to show it by letting my smile disappear so I plaster on a fake one. They should be gone soon...if I'm distracted well enough. "Well let me show you around." I said. I walked around the place, showing him around where everything is. Next thing you know he asked me to play the violin for him. I proudly accepted the offer.
⠀⠀As I got out the stringed instrument, I thought of songs to play for him. One song came to mind. Deep Sea Girl. I got out the sheet music I produced for myself and sat it out on my stand. I got into playing position and started to play. Letting the notes ring out to produce music. Letting my right had move the bow and change the weight of the bow to make it quieter and louder at some parts. Playing the slurred notes, the eighth and sixteenth notes, quarter notes. Using vibrato to produce a much richer sound. I did everything I could so I could sound perfect. When done, I bowed and sat my instrument in it's case as Ichimatsu clapped to show he enjoyed it.
⠀⠀As I put my instrument and my music away, Ichimatsu sat down on the couch with his knees brought up to his chest. When done I sat down beside him laying my head on his shoulder. "Now to figure out where you're sleeping at.."
⠀⠀"I could always sleep with you like what usual happens." He suggested.
⠀⠀"Yeah that could work. Anyways, want to watch a horror movie?" I asked. The purplematsu nodded so I got up and went through my movie collection. Found a horror movie that I haven't watched yet. I turned on the television, switched the channels and started it up.I sat next to Ichi as the movie started.
⠀⠀By the end of the movie, Ichimatsu was holding onto me for his dear life. I rubbed his back to calm him down. We decided that it was to hit the sack. I showed him in what drawer to look through for clothing that is a bit to big for me that could probably fit him that he could wear for tonight. I enter the bathroom and lock the door. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and got changed.I got ready to leave and so I unlocked the door. Then I saw my blades, I was hesitant at first but then I grabbed them. I sat down in front of the sink as I started to drag them across my skin, cutting my wrists and making new wounds.
⠀⠀I started to sob. I was a fucking wreck at this moment. I did that just to ease the thoughts. Just like scum like me would do. We didn't go to someone who was close to us. We just would hide it under a mask to protect who we really are under the cover. Soon Ichimatsu knocked on the door.
⠀⠀"Hey (Y/N), what's taking so long?" He asked through the door. I didn't answer. "(Y/N). What are you even doing?" No reply. "(Y/N)?" He sounded concern. "That's it (Y/N), I'm coming in." Fuck.
⠀⠀He entered the room to be welcomed to seeing blades covered in blood lying on the ground next to me as I held my wrist. I kept whimpering as I said "I'm sorry" over and over again like a broken record. Ichimatsu grabbed the blades and flushed them and sat right next to me and grabbed my wrist to see how bad it is. He then got to see previous scars. The healed ones and the recent ones. He started to clean the newly made scars and started to bandage them. Next thing he did was he pulled me into his embrace and held me there. Rubbing circles on my back to help calm me down as occasional kisses on the top of my head. My sobbing calmed down so I stood up and held out a hand for Ichimatsu to grab to help him up.
⠀⠀He grabbed my hand pulled himself up. We headed out of that room into the bedroom as I shut off the lights and laid down. He pulled me close to his chest to make sure I was alright. He was awfully protective or caring. Maybe this is the hidden side of Ichimatsu.

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last chapter for tonight im legit falling asleep as I write this rip

chapter idea credit: HelloImPeach