Back To Yesterday

CHAPTER TWENTY

"Don't you want a good life?" He says.

"Of course, as everyone does..." I replied.

"But away from you? No."

I never want to stay away from him. Never again. I almost lost him before and I don't want him out of my life again. I cannot take it. I don't know how to live without him since he came into my life.

I'm nearly crying, not utterring any single word. I'm thinking too deep and surprisingly felt that he's already hugging me tight. As if he'll never let me go. That burst me to cry. I hugged him back and put all my tears out on his shoulder.

It was a dull tuesday night when Jiro and I talked about my situation.

I went on his parked car at the sea dike of the seaside. I went on arguing about it and he keeps on convincing me that I should come. No, I should come. No, I should come. My mind repeats what he's telling me.

He blocked my way as I'm going to enter his car. "Are you being childish again?! Cara, could you please make up your mind?!"

His voice was deafening, goosebumps made me stop. Is it really him that shouts at me?

My mind was totally blown out by his words. He's obviously mad, and it's very unusual.

I was only looking at one direction. Away from his eyes, beyond the farthest visible sight. Disregards his words, I continued entering his car.

I sat still, I didn't do anything. I just stare at the window without realizing that he is already inside the car. It seems to be almost an hour without any words from me.

"Are you going to shut your mouth until we reach your home?" He's talking but I felt like I can't move anymore. my jaw's locked up too.

He realized that I'm not talking whatever he does. So, he recklessly pulls my collar and kisses me deeply. As if my nerves woke up from a hundred-year sleep. I was extremely shocked.

I feel so helpless. I couldn't do anything but to submit myself to him. I feel weaker. I can't breathe.

It seems almost half an hour. He still doesn't let me go. I pulled myself away and hugged his head. I could feel his lips roaming around my neck. As few minutes pass, I lose consciousness. I feel like sleeping. All I remember is I'm hugging him tight.

----

"Whooh. It's good to be here in China, right?" I heard a very familiar voice of a guy says.

"Yeah, you know I always think of China as a traditional place. One with all country style villages, people in traditional costumes. Just like what I always see in Korean dramas, the traditional ones." I replied.. As he gets his face close to me, he becomes more familiar. After a while, as he gets closer, he becomes lighter and lighter until his face becomes unrecognizable.

"Good morning, dear." I woke up. It's already wednesday morning and mom asks me to come out to buy something. As usual, as a working mom, she cannot do these stuffs anymore.

"How come I'm already here? Who brought me here? Jiro?"

She looked back at me with a blank stare. Well, she might be a bit disappointed with the fact that a guy brings home his girlfriend sleeping.

"Uh, I see. I'm sorry, I really can't remember last night. All I remember is I was crying to him... Then I fell asleep."

She ignored my words and went back to their room. I started fixing my bed and preceeded to dining area.

"Uhhhhhhh so hungry!! What's the food?" I saw there was hotdog, egg and rice! Yes, there's rice! I badly want to eat rice to at least regain the energy that I have lost last night.

At eleven in the morning, I went to the nearest grocery to buy needs for their mini potluck. I don't know what for, I just follow what she orders.

After, I called Jena to inform her about the masters thing. Since she's a dean's list, she can easily apply for that offer. Whew, how good she is. I called the rest of my friends and they're all interested aside from Junee. When I called her, she said that she already got a masters offer from Moscow. It was her mother's friend who recommended her to the owner of the MBA school.

"Oh really? You're so lucky, girl!" I said.

"But you know, it's hard to leave all of you. Well, mom said it will only last for two years. I promise to go back as soon as possible." Junee said.

"I'm so happy for you! I can see how successful you will be after few years!"

"But Cara, I've heard that you're trying to rejects the offer of Nate's mom? Why so? Because of Jiro?"

"Oh Junee.. to tell you the truth, I'm afraid to leave him. I'm afraid I might lose him if I will decide to go to China."

"Don't you trust him? What did he say?"

"Even he, tries to convince me to accept the offer. We even argued about it last night."

"See, he trusts you. He lets you go because he knows that you're not going to leave him. He knows it's for the good. Why don't you trust his words too?"

"If I would go to China, it is far away from here, you know that. I think I cannot survive that if ever."

"That's what you think. Everyone gets used into something right? If it's your first time, you have to make yourself familiar with that thing. Same with your long distance relationship with Jiro if ever. At first you'll feel very homesicked, but after few days, you'll get used to it. Just remember that. Besides, there's no impossible in technology nowadays"

"Well, I really don't know what to do. Haaaaaaahhh.. I only have three days to decide."

"Go for it. It will be good for you. I tell you."

"I'll think about it. Promise."

I can't imagine myself not seeing Jiro for two years. Haaaahh. What should I do?!