Forbidden Innocence (Book #3)

Chapter 29

Lilac's P.O.V

I'm so use to seeing Landon's scars. Whenever I see them, I remember being curious to learn about his past, and I remember him dodging all my attempts to uncover it. How can I blame him?

His past is full of him killing people simply because of his alpha's wishes—the same alpha that tried to rape me might I remind you. Undoubtingly, he's ashamed of his past, and happily buried it after he found Lydia.

So, of course I'm surprised when he comes up to me with a serious look on his face and says, "It's time for you to learn about my past." His eyes trail down to where my stomach is.

Shifting in my chair, I close my laptop slowly before tapping my fingers on the wooden desk that's in Landon and I's room. "Why now? Why are you so sure that you want to tell me now?" I ask softly.

He picks me up bridal style and walks into the mini living room that's seperated from our bedroom by a step-down. "I'm about to be in a position of power again, Lilac. You need to know about what I did when I was a Third-in-Command. We're engaged, and there shouldn't be any secrets in our relationship." His hand caresses my stomach gently.

Don't get me wrong, I'm overjoyed that he is finally opening up to me, but he looks so uncomfortable, like he's being forced into this.

I take his face into my hands and kiss him gently. "You don't have to do this, Landon. We can just go to sleep. It's getting late anyway," I tell him.

He jerks away from my hands. "No, Lilac, we need to do this now, or I'm going to rethink my decision," He says desperately.

Nodding, I wrap my arms around his waist and get comfortable on his lap. "Okay, Landon."

Brown eyes look up into my identical ones. A small smile etches onto his face when I kiss his lips again, and smile at him.

Landon needs to know that I'm not judging him, he needs to know that I'll always accept him with open arms.

He sucks in a breath slowly. "I've k-killed more than 100 people, Lilac. I killed those people with my bare hands," he begins unsteadily.

I sit back and give him a reassuring look. He swallows before nodding, almost as if he knows for sure that I won't run away now.

Landon begins to spew all of his past to me, and, as he reveals more, he loosens up. His eyes lose their dark look, and his hand loosens it's tight grip on my own hand.

Shock consumes me as he tells me about his childhood, how his mother trained him to be ruthless.

"That's why I left my mother and her pack. I left because I didn't want to fulfill her dream of me becoming a monster, but I became one anyway." He adverts his eyes from mine and runs his knuckles over his lips.

What comes out my mouth next shocks me. "Katrina is a monster herself. Don't blame yourself, Landon," I whisper soothingly.

He looks up at me. "But it is my fault. I could have stopped myself from becoming a monster, Lilac. I knew what gammas did." A look of pain crosses his face. "You want to know what the worst part was? I didn't regret ripping peoples' throats out, I didn't regret torturing people, I didn't regret being Alex's puppet." Landon seals his lips shut and shakes his head.

"Don't stop, Landon. I knew that your past was going to be dark when you started, so nothing you say can shock me too much." A soft laugh leaves me, and I celebrate when I see Landon loosen up even more.

Taking in a deep breath, he continues. He tells me about his teen years, about how he left his mother and set off for Alex's pack.

"I fear being alone, Lilac. I fear surprises because every time there's a surprise in my life, it's bad," He says, but then he stops and glances at my stomach. "Well, your pregnancies were the only good surprises in my life." He chuckles deeply.