Her Secret Life. (Book Two)

Chapter 12

Impossible is a word found only in the dictionary of fools.

It has been 3 days since Carrie and I last saw each other and even though I was upset by her departure, I really couldn't blame her. Her mother was against her, her father was struggling to understand her and now, my mother voiced her hatred for 'her kind'. I felt sick just thinking about the conversation and I rinsed my hands as I put away the last set of dishes.

I had been cleaning the entire house for the past three days just to keep my mind busy and not think about the crazy life I was living and to also make sure that I could sit anywhere without thinking it's been used. I ran a hand through my hair as I checked my phone. Ryder has been blowing it up with messages and calls but I wasn't in the mood to deal with him.

I decided to just get some work done in the back garden so I grabbed some tools from the shed and headed to the vegetable plot. Kneeling down, I pulled my gloves on tighter before applying some manure and earthing up. I was so focused on my afternoon task that I didn't realize someone had arrived until they knelt besides me.

"Oh my gosh, Darcy!" I shrieked and held my heart.

"Hey." She responds coolly. "Don't mind if I help."

"When did you get here?"

"Just now, I called to you and you nodded?"

"I was humming! Don't ever scare me like that again!"

"Okay, I'm sorry."

I pulled off my gloves and sat back on my legs as I tried to regulate my heartbeat.

"Do you want me to get you some water?"

"Yeah."

We both get up and I sit on the back swing near the flower garden and waited on her return. Collecting the glass, I quickly drained it before placing it on the ground. Darcy sits next to me on the swings and we silently start to sway. I absentmindedly start to kick the dirt with my feet as my mind traveled back in time.

*flashback*

"She doesn't hate you Carrie." I say soothingly as I try to console my sobbing cousin.

"You don't see the way she looks at me. Every time I think it'll be different, it isn't. She's always trying to change me, begging me to walk away from the one person who makes me beyond happy and just because I won't, she refuses to acknowledge that I'm her daughter."

"You don't need her." I say softly, lost for words."

"You won't understand Jay, I've always had the support of my parents, always spoke to them and laughed and now, it's like we're total strangers and you can't begin to imagine how much it hurts."

"I know."

"Don't ever fall in love with a girl. It would be the most awesome and painful thing you've ever experienced and I don't think you would survive it."

My eyes snap to hers and I could see how deep her sadness ran. No one should ever have to go through this, no one should ever have to feel isolated and unloved by the very people who promised to love them eternally.

*End of Flashback*

"Humans are assholes."

"What?" Darcy says, looking over at me. "Why?"

"They are so traditional and ancient. It's depressing."

"Are we back on the whole Carol topic?"

"My Aunt is literally the worst Aunt in the history of worst Aunts."

Darcy gives a small laugh as we both stop swaying. "You can't just hate someone because of what they believe in Jane."

"Yeah but you should. They shouldn't be treating you guys like this. Aren't you like mad or something?"

"Yes I'm upset but it makes no sense in me being angry with them for what they believe. Us hating them is no different from them hating us and I don't want to continue this tiresome cycle, I want to end it."

I sighed as I saw her point. "It still sucks. You don't know how badly I try to help Carrie or try to console her in some way... She thinks I don't get it, and maybe I don't but she's my cousin and best friend and I hate seeing her in any kind of pain."

"She's my friend too and I'm sure when she's ready she'll talk but right now, she just needs some time and space."

I stared ahead, frustration clearly written on my face as I tried to understand how people could be so one minded and naïve.

"I just don't get it." I say softly as I tried and failed to rid my mind of thoughts on humanity. "Why does it have to be this way? Why does she have to suffer so deeply because she chose to love?"

Darcy looks at me but says nothing and I shake my head as I'm once more lost in thought. Looking up I notice the skies had turned to grey and I knew it would soon rain but I made no move to leave and neither did she. I felt her eyes plastered upon me as if being unsure of how I should be comforted. I spare a glance in her direction and I could tell she was having an internal conflict. Her expression changed many times over and before I could decipher one, She reaches out and places a hand on my chin, causing my eyes to meet hers.

I'm utterly confused by her actions but when I feel her fingers gently caress the streak of tears on my face, I realized I've been crying. Her eyes are the color of coals and yet they shined so bright that what happened next was still hard to grasp.

Darcy leans in and plants a soft kiss on my tear stained cheeks and it's so soft that for a second, I didn't really feel anything. She pulls away and stares at me and for the first time I saw an emotion being expressed that I've never before seen.

Closing my eyes I bring my head closer to hers and before long I felt her lips touch mine. They were surprisingly firm but soft and I could taste the cherry lip balm that she wore. I had no idea why I felt the need to kiss her but now, I didn't regret my decision.

Wrapping my hands around her neck, I felt my body heat up as the kiss gradually increased. She lets slip a moan as her fingers gently touch my neck and she slowly massages her way towards my shoulder. Her touches are so light and soft that it's easy for me to lose my train of thought. I moan my appreciation and she uses the opportunity to slide her tongue into my mouth. The action turns me on and I nibbled her lower lip as her hands travel down my back.

The voice of Carrie had me pulling away in an instant and I stared wide eyed at Darcy as she did the same. I hadn't heard Carol's car pull up and I felt my face heat up with shame as I jumped up from my seat and literally ran towards the house. I shot past my confused cousin and I didn't stop until I reached my room. Slamming the door shut, I heaved and wrapped the sheet around me as I buried my shame.

What in the world did I just do? Why would I kiss her? A girl? I didn't even like girls, was I now gay?

Maybe it was just my hormones, after all I just lost my virginity... Right?

I groaned loudly as once more my thoughts were filled with a soft, hot mouth that had just captured mine.