My Psychotic Lover

Chapter33: (Do) I love Joker(?)

I tried to get into sleep but I couldn't. Joker was kept on running in my mind: his pale face, his voice, his laugh, his insanity, the way he looked at me.

"Jack what are you doing to me?!" I asked as if he was in front of me. In annoyed appearance, I sat up from lying and messed my own red hair, "This is insane, I swear. I should've not feel this way onto him. . . this is a strong sin."

Before I directly lost my sanity, and probably got in jailed in my own fantasies against him, I decided to get up, to make a dinner for the Joker— I must entertain myself.

When I stood up, I spotted the necklace that he had given to me. It was still placed on the night stand, where Jack had put it— not even touched;

I grabbed it then I smiled toward it. The heart necklace made me to remember the Clown. It was given by him . . . I appreciate it.

Smiling on this thing, I unfastened the clasp on this ornament, and worn it around my neck, "I own you."

Still gazing upon the necklace, suddenly I felt a strong feeling which made me to look on my side where the glass -window was placed. The dark sky has a stars, and moon that shone. It was like a little light that kept on enlightening the whole City.

Oh star. . .

I stepped toward the window and looked upon it. The stars were shining just like his eyes. Although at all times, those were always so dark, but still it had a sudden glint on it whenever he was looking at me, seriously.

"Jack . . ." I accidentally uttered, as I softened my eyes, and felt some little worries in me. Joker might be crazy but I couldn't be wrong, I knew, I can tell that his apologies were sincere. He's a killer, but why the hell he was showing me some esteem?

When I opened the window, the cool whiff of the wind suddenly touched my skin. I closed my eyes as I started to feel the freezing coldness of the night.

"Jack. . ." I mumbled again. I was in a short moment where I remembered his face, coming closer to me. His soft lips were like real, as if it was really pressed against mine. When I realized that I'm creating my little fantasies, I abruptly opened my eyes and shook my head in coy.

Oh my god Hayley stop hallucinating.

But then I found myself smiling alone for the thought that I created some sinful manners in my head. It wasn't healthy to feel some allure, especially to that killer clown. Was it wrong? Was it right? It was so wrong, I could tell— or maybe, my mind started suffering some mental disorder. Did I end my normal thinking?

"Oh star, can you fall down on me?" I asked, "I want to make a wish upon you— but hold on, let me think of it first, think of what I'm wishing for. . . Maybe I have it, haven't I? But what is it? What is it then?"

While I'm in a deep thought, I shortsighted the man whom I've seen when I was fastening my clothes on the clothesline at the backyard. I wrinkled my forehead, trying to see clearly his face, but I'm failed. I didn't know, but I felt something like, uneasy feeling. The stranger was just standing under the glass window, distant away from my direction.

Shall I tell Joker?

Pulling out a deep sigh, I quickly closed the window and covered it through the purple thick curtains.
I turned my back, and started walking to the door, down at the stairs, to prepare some meal for Jack, with a complacent that, no one can hurt me, especially if I'm in the Joker's protection — but then, my mind shifted into something. . . what if, it was a threat to the clown? — No, probably not.

When I opened the door, things were appeared in my front: it was a plain caramel acoustic guitar with a notepad and some pens, which made me surprised.

So these were the things he was talking about?

I blushed for the thought; it was just a simple things, but the simple things he was making, actually making me to feel something more for him. I stooped my body, and grabbed them off the floor when I spotted a handwritten letter on the first page of the notepad.

Hey cruel woman, if you're reading this, it means, you have seen it. Um, look, even though you are that hard to deal with, I wanted you to know that I took these things from the shop, for you.

      I hope, it may ease your little boredom because I know that you know, that I can't just bring you into a nicest place, and you know the reasons— so yea, hope you like it, and start writing a song about your feelings for me. . . -J.

I giggled at the last sentence. So he was that confident that I have feelings? How silly was he— That his charms actually caught me? Was it possible to fall?

I took them with me then I place them on my bed before I go downstairs. The night seemed so fine when suddenly I heard a heavy drops on the roof.

Is it raining?

The cloudburst was painfully in my ears— it was heavy. Until I remember Jack, because I know, he's still in the City, and I didn't even know if he was doing something crazy, but then, I couldn't help but to feel some worries.

I was about to open the door when I heard a voice — a male voice — the Joker's voice.

"Doll. . ."

I leaned forward to it, then I tried to listen on his words. . .

"Are you still awake?"

I didn't response to his sentences, my ear was just leaning against the door.

"Hey, I'm. . . I'm home. . . Are you still crazy? Yea, you are crazy for ignoring me but I wanted you to know that I'm sorry for my stupidity. It was all for you."

"Sometimes I'm thinking, it's better that I hurt you, at least it was made by me than anyone else's there. Just like what I have said, I have and I have the only right to touch you. . ."

"Um Hayley? I hope you're awake so that you can hear me. I admit I like you."

My eyes got widened when he said the last word. My chest started pounding nonstop, and the sound of the raindrops was blended in the beat of my heart. He— he likes me?

"I like you, yes. . . I like you because you are my favorite thing, my property."

Joker ended my delusions. I felt like the ceiling of my bedroom suddenly fell on my head, which made me awaken from my deep fantasies. It hurts.

"I know, you like me too. . . don't you?" he said with a slight giggles, " I can't blame you, you have fallen for me but that is okay, thank you."

I didn't even realize that my tears started streaming down on my face, I was lost by his sweet words, his beautiful lies. He caught me— I'm a loser.

"If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up, because I know, I have you. . . if being insane man is the only way to be with you, I will choose to be crazy forever. . . Doctor."

How lovely to hear those sweet words of him. How beautiful those sentences which coming out from his mouth. Everything on him is so beautiful. Maybe I'm starting to be crazy too because I adore him even though, he's killing and harming people. Maybe I have forgotten that the man whom I live with, was insane and psychotic.

So maybe, when he became cruel to me, was because his bipolar attitude, or his mental disorder had attacked him.

But why I feel something? Something that I can't tell? I have started to expect, and assume that there is really a thing with him, I need a clear answer, I need to know what is his real intention, his plan to me. . . is there any walls between us? What if I'm falling? No, it can't be.

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A/n: (edited and rewritten) Thanks for reading angels! I love you all! You can vote to show your support on this book, thanks again :D