We'll Be Fireproof

Chapter Thirteen

I arrived at the park an hour early. Mori got sick of me pacing in the kitchen so I left. I set up the candles on an old picnic table and set the flowers beside them. But then I decided not only was that a fire hazard, it was really tacky.

Now it's 20 minutes until he's supposed to get here and I have to stop myself from picking apart the daisies. I'm a nervous wreck. I'm pacing back and forth in the secluded area, trying not to mess up my hair, and trying not to think of everything that could go wrong.

He could hate me. He could see who I am and be disgusted and leave immediately.
I could say something stupid and offend him.
I could move too fast and kiss him before he's ready.
He could find what I've done tacky and stupid.

All of the bad things run through my head. I can't help it. My heart is a hammer in my chest.

I need to calm down. I sit on the bench and lean my head back. It's Simon. He's the sweetest boy I've ever met. I try and think of everything good that can happen.

He could run at me, with open arms, and pull me into the sweetest hug.
He could blush and giggle and be happy with who I am.
He could look at me in happy shock and whisper I'm happy it's you.

I open my eyes, smiling. I'm so excited. I check my watch. 7:20. Ten more minutes and he's all mine. I pull out my phone and look through my music. There's only one song I want. I recorded a version of Cherry Wine on violin for him. It took me hours, but it was worth it.

I chew on my lip and watch the path. He'll be down here any second.

---

Minute by minute I wait. It's been forty minutes since he was supposed to arrive and there hasn't been a sign of anyone. He's gotta be coming. He wouldn't leave me, would he?

Tears brim my eyes. I feel so stupid. I got all dressed up, put on fucking makeup for nothing. He doesn't like me. Why would he? I'm a piece of garbage. I stand from the bench and blow out the candles. He isn't coming. Of course he isn't coming. Why am I so fucking stupid? I chuck the flowers onto the ground and tug at the strands of my hair.

"Fuck," I yell through clenched teeth, tears falling from my eyes.

I shouldn't have gotten attached. Of course this was going to happen.

I need to get home. God, I want nothing less than to deal with Mori-or anyone- right now. I know she'll mean well but I'm so humiliated. I can't face anyone.

I get into my car. There's no one on the roads, thank god, because I don't think I could take the traffic. I'd probably just crash the car.

When I get home Mori is sitting at the table doing homework. She perks up when she sees me.

"Did it go we- hey, what's wrong? Are you okay? What happened?" She gets up from the table and races over to me.

I can barely look at her. I'm still crying. "He didn't come." My voice breaks and I can't hold it together anymore. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me into her. I'm sobbing into her neck as she rubs my back and whispers in my ear.

"It's okay, he didn't deserve you anyway. You're too good for him, Baz." She's trying to comfort me but it only makes me feel worse, as if that's possible.

After a few minutes of crying, I pull away, wiping my face. I can't imagine how streaked my mascara is.

"I should go to bed. I'm going to have to see him tomorrow, so I better get some sleep," I say, my voice hoarse. She nods and pecks my cheek.

"I'll make blueberry pancakes tomorrow, I know they're your favourite."

I smile gently and nod my head. "Thank you. Sleep well, Mori."

As I walk up to my room I pray I don't run into my father. I can't deal with him right now. Just as I'm about to walk into my room, my step-mother steps out of Beatrice's nursery, quietly shutting the door.

"Basil, my goodness, are you okay?" She asks, whispering. I shake my head, not wanting to speak. I don't want to cry again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head again, turning the door handle. "Okay. I love you. Sleep well. I hope you feel better, dear."

I step into my room and sulk over to my laptop. I need to at least check if he's messaged me. Because I'm desperately in love with him and I can't let him go.

Of course he hasn't messaged me. Why would he? Obviously I was right. I'm not enough for him.

I can't stop myself from sending him something. Because I'm weak. Because I'm so godamn in love with him.

Direct Message
From: starsonfire97
To: littleprince216
8:34 PM 05/11/16
I understand. I should have known you didn't like me. It was a silly infatuation and I'm sorry for getting you involved.

See you at school, Prince Simon.

The silly thing is, of all of the bad things I thought could happen, I never imagined that he wouldn't come.