We'll Be Fireproof

Chapter Fifteen

My eyes aren't even open yet and I know where I am. The smell of bleach and medicine fills my nose. I want to vomit. It doesn't help that my mouth tastes like metal.

Florescent lights blind my eyes as I blink them open. There's a monitor beeping next to me, an IV poked into my arm, and a tray of food at the end of my bed.

"Oh Simon, thank god you're awake." It's my father's voice. I flinch when I hear it. Not only did I not notice him in the corner of the room, his voice instantly reminds me of what happened.

"Get the fuck away from me," I say, trying to move, but a sharp pain in my abdomen seizes my actions.

"Simon stay still, you'll pull your stitches." He's ignoring me. He's acting like he didn't do this to me. Like he didn't almost kill me.

"Stay away."

"A robber broke into our house while I was out. When I came back you were stabbed and beaten pretty bad. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you." I don't know why he's saying this. We both know what really happened. Maybe he can't face what he did.

Too fucking bad.

"Don't try and pretend that you didn't do this. That you didn't stab your own son. Almost kill me." It's hard not to yell. Not to completely lose my shit. I can take a beating. I have been for almost 10 years. But I've had it. I know it hurts him to think about my mom. I know that she died giving birth to me. But that's not my fault. I didn't kill her. I don't deserve to deal with this because of medical complications. I don't deserve it even if it was me who killed her. Because I didn't mean to. Doesn't he see how much it hurts me too? To see pictures of my beautiful mother and be able to know her?

"Simon-"

"Don't. Don't you fucking dare apologize. I almost died because of you. This is- I can't take it anymore. I'm moving out. As soon as school ends- as soon as the month is over- I'm leaving your shithole of a home. I can't deal with it anymore."

"How do you expect to be able to survive on your own, Simon? You need me. I'm the only one who loves you."

I push through the pain and sit up so we're eye to eye. "Don't you get it? I don't need you. Do you hear me? I. Don't. Need. You."

My heart is pounding and I'm trying to act calm but the heart monitor gives me away. He shakes his head and looks me in the eye.

"Who's going to love you like I do, Simon? I'm the only one who cares about you. You'll never find someone who loves you as much as I do."

I'm defeated for a second. My head falls and I think he's right. But then I remember. I perk up and look him right in the eyes. It takes all of my courage to push the words out.

"You're wrong. I- I have someone. I have a-a boyfriend. And he loves me. And I am madly in love with him. So I know that people can love me. And actually care about me. And they won't almost kill me. I am lovable."

I keep myself straight up despite how much it hurts. I can't back down.

"I'm going to get lunch," He says, turning from me.

"Good. Bring back clothes that aren't soaked in blood," I sneer.

"Sure thing, Simon."

He leaves, not looking at me.

I am finally free.