Beautiful Marriage

15. Stone Cold

Ashley

"It's happening again Lisa. The nightmares its back and its too much to handle. I wish it would stop but it won't. Lisa it is getting worst" I hold my head in my hand as I tell my best friend about the nightmares. I have been having this nightmare for about eight years now and it just keep getting worst. " I don't know what to do anymore because it keeps eating a part of me and it just too much. The memory it's too painful." I bite my lips as I try to sob back a tear. Lisa gets up from the opposite couch she was sitting and hug me as I cry on her shoulder.

I have to leave the house before Nathan wakes it is embarrassing enough and he does not need my problem to bother him he has enough of his own and I am sure he doesn't need this. He should be able to sleep in is house peacefully without hearing me screaming like a siren. " I am sorry Ashley." Lisa whispers in my ear " I wish there was something I could do." but what she is doing now is enough to make me feel better.

"I think the problem is you need to let go Ashley. It has been eight years Ashley , it is time to let go now." Lisa say after a while.

"Don't you think I want to let go but I just can't. No matter what I do, everything I have done to let go it never works." Eight years ago my life change that change should have been for the best. It should have been the best day of my life. I was happy almost too happy but then tragedy happen and its a day I don't know if I will be able to not remember.

"I know that it will always be apart of you but you will not be able to move on and life free and happy Ashley. I am just trying to help you here Ashley. I love you and I want the best for you." I know she want the best for me but I can't let go I just can't. " Nathan is going to ask you question Ashley and you should tell him." Lisa suggested.

"Why should I tell him when I'm the other woman.?" I yelled. I'm not important, no one knows or care about me."

I know sooner or later Nate will ask that's the main point of me being here to avoid contact with him. " I am going to stay here for a while" I mumbled to Lisa.

" No way Ash , your husband-" her speech was cut off with Matt screaming.

"Aunty" Matt run over to me jumping on me as I fall back into the coach.

"hey bud" I ruffle his hair as I hold him on my lap.

"I miss you." He smile squeezing me. Then he gave me a kiss on my forehead.

"I miss you too." I tell him as I hug him.

Matt is so happy and he's an amazing kid. I will make sure that I will do my best to keep him safe and protected.

I could see that Lisa is always worried about Matt but she should just enjoy the time he has with Matt now. Matt is a strong kid at heart and he will not die.

"Matt is going to his friend birthday party this Saturday." Lisa tells me.

"Are you excited Matt?" I asked him.

"Yes aunty I am. Sister just let me stay in most of the time." Ever since she found out about Matt sickness she always let him stay in. She doesn't let him play much but Matt needs to enjoy his childhood.

Matt fills our life with happiness.

***

The week goes by very quickly. I avoided all of Nate calls. He would not stop calling or texting to the point where I turned off my phone. He even when to Krazy Cafe asking for me but no one told him anything. Lisa keeps telling me to call him back or at least take his calls but what am I going to say to him. I do not know where to bring a conversation with him.