Beautiful Marriage

28. small talk

Ashley

Italy!

The pain I feel within is like bullet to my heart. It fucking hurts. I confess my love and he's on a plane all the way to Italy. Is it me or is the sex that bad.

I reread the text message one last time. He didn't even have the balls to call me. Ugh.

They way my body responds to his is just incredible. He do things to my body, he makes he feel things that I never knew I could feel. He gives me my first orgasm in such a long time. He makes me come everytime when we had sex. Joel doesn't have that power for me I only come once in a while with him. But my body respond to Nathan like it was built for him. Every time I closed my eyes I see the image of us in the mirror. And I don't know if he loves me.

I get ready to leave for the cemetery to bring the roses to William grave. Not a day goes that I don't miss him. Sometimes I wonder what our life would be like if he was still here. After a while most people forget about the love ones that are buried six feet under but me I can't forget my baby.

I don't even know what he looks like, all I got was his urn. My mother tells that it was better that way because if I had seen him it would only make matters worse. Maybe if I had seen him I would be at piece and not having these terrible nightmares that make me can't sleep at night.

It's like he's calling me to come get him. It's like he's hasn't moved on either and I don't know how to connect with him.

"Happy birthday my son." I whispered putting my hand on his grave as I placed down the flowers next to the grave. A tear escape my eyes.

I wiped it away "I will be strong for you Will. Only God's knows of the life we would have together if you were here. "

"I miss you so much."

"Happy birthday William?" Who said that? I turned around to see Joel who was holding a rose in his hand.

"Why are you here?"

"Ashley I-" but I just wrapped my arms around him and he relaxes. I don't know why all the build up anger I have for him disappeared in that instance. I don't know if it's because Nathan is all the way to Italy.

"Thank you." I whispered to him because I really need the support. He then placed his hand on my back giving me a comforting hug. I recoil myself as the betrayal resurfaced in my brain.

"You can't be here."

"Ashley I am sorry. How many times do I have to apologize." He look broken and hurt but I don't want to deal with this anymore. I just want to grieve the death of my son in piece.

"Just go. Please" I beg. I never thought he would show up. I didn't even remember about him. For the past two years he followed me to the cemetery on this day.

"Okay." He said walking away. He didn't agure to stay. He just went and I'm glad.

Tears escape my eyes again. Really think I had the strength but I'm just freaking weak.

People come and go for a reason but what was the reason for William leaving without even spending a day with me.

After serval minutes I place my hand on William grave again and whispered goodbye "Good bye." Just as I turned I saw a figure walking towards me in a trench coat. Did Nate decided not to go to Italy after all and ask Lisa where I might be. Without hesitation I rushed towards him but I stopped in my tracks because it wasn't Nathan.

"Travis?" I questioned as I looked at him. His hair was neatly saved, his muscles are huge and his chocolate skin looks pretty much the same, delicious. He pulled me in for a hug.