Beautiful Marriage

22. tug-o-war

Nathan

My mother and George Daniels, if she's screwing the dad why does she wants me to be with the daughter. Does Nora even knew about it? Every last respect I have for George just crumbles and for my mother I don't know. I don't know if she deserves the title mother anymore.

They are all playing with me. Toying with me. Willa is right I'm a fucking puppet and mother is pulling on everyone of the strings. She's controlling me and this needs to stopped. I never realized until now that I'm a stupid fucked up.

I loved her so I listened to her. I helped her out when she asked me because I'm trying to be the best son. I am trying to make her happy that I even sacrifice my own happiness for her but what do I get in return. I got a dagger in the back.

I stumbled to my office. Heather was saying something to me but my mind was all over the place. I couldn't quite decrepit what she was saying. I just told her that I will deal with it tomorrow.

I pulled the bottle of vodka from my desk and turned it to my head. I can't stay in this building with her, I can't be breathing the same fucking air as her.

I have ruin my happiness for her. I wanted Ashley so bad but I kept pushing her away. I never dated, I just fucked and that was it, no strings attached. But she waltz into my life and used a sledgehammer knocking down the walls I build up. The walls that protected my emotions.

Ashley made me see things differently, she make's me want more. She's makes me want to be in a relationship. She's the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and I want her, all of her. I want her to be mine. I never realized that my life was so empty until she comes along. She filled the hole that was missing.

I want everything that comes with her, the smile, the anger even the past that lays heavily on her shoulder. I want to lift that past and toss it in the garbage.

She's strong, the strongest person I have ever known. Her crying is just a symbol of her strength.

I never ever wanted to be married. The word marriage was like poison on my tongue. It was the hardest word for me to form. Marriage was never on my list at all but now I just want to get Ashely a stone. Jai is right I need to get Ashely a ring. I need let go off the lie with Nora. In two days I shall call the press and explain everything.

I know my reputation will be bad but I like Ashley now. I can genuinely show my affection with her. I can kiss her in public and feel happy about it. I can hold her hand and feel proud about it.

No faking it. Like I did with Nora. When ever I have to pretend I'm in love with her it fucking hurts. I just wished I could disappeared in that moment.

Why is it so hard to do the right thing? Why didn't I say I wasn't married to Nora in the first place then everything would be better than it is now.

I placed the bottle of vodka on my desk to walked out of the office. I spotted the box that Nora gave me to give Ashley on the chair and pulled it up. I don't know why I just don't leave it but something in me is telling me to give Ashley.

I was walking down the corridor to reach the elevator when I saw JP coming towards me.

"Elizabeth said I shouldn't let you leave until she come and talk to you." What do she want to talk about. I don't even want to see her in my sight. Not now anyways. Why the fuck am I still here breathing the same fucking air as her.

"Get out of my way JP." I told him as I pushed the button on the elevator. But he didn't move, he stand firm looking at me.

"No, I can't do that."