Beautiful Marriage

16. Dark Heart

Nathan.

"Nathan you have made me so proud. You see this smile on my face it's all because of you."

My mother said as she sat at my desk probably crossing her legs like she always do.  I was not interested in this conversation because I knew exactly where she is going with it. So I just continued looking at the tiny snowflakes falling outside.

"I have work to do." I tried to dismissed this conversation before it goes any further but she wasn't getting the drift. I did not heard any movements of the chair so I knew she was still sitting.

"We have been getting so much ratings and the sales have gone back up already. And I know we will make a lot more money when the pictures of you and Nora are published"

"Like I told you mother, I am not doing that photoshoot."

"Nathan you have to. People still can't believe that you are married so we have to give them pictures to see that you are in love."

"I am not in love with Nora." I am incapable to love.

"You are , you're just too afraid to admit it."

"Can you feel what is in my heart?"

"No, but it took me nine months to form it. So-"

"So what mother? You should control it now?"

"I'm not saying that."

"So stop forcing me to love Nora. I am doing what you want already so don't tempt me to tell the truth."

"I want a grandchild so love your bride." That's exactly what I am doing I am trying to love my bride. I am trying so hard not to feel for Ashley but I can't stop the feeling. I wondered if she's alright. I haven't heard from her in a week. I wondered if she is still having the nightmares. I wondered if she can sleep peacefully at nights and I wondered where she is and if she is safe. So many unanswered questioned and I don't have any answers to them.

Why did she go without telling me. These actions keep forcing me to do what my mother wants  and I am so uncomfortable doing it. I don't know if I will have Ashley. I don't know if she will fucking leave. So I have to do this pretending with Nora but one thing for sure I will not fucking have sex with Nora.

"You are not getting a grandchild from me anytime soon."

"I want a grandchild and that is finally. Go and be with Nora."

"Enough mother!" I yelled turning around pounding the desk with my fist. I take a puff of my inhaler. She  is getting me so fucking worked up. Why don't she understand that my life is not her business. She is not the editor of my fucking live. I was going to fix my mistake but no she has to do what is think is right.

"God dam it child are you going to give me a heart attack!" She yelled putting one of her hand on her heart. I am just beyond angry. I didn't answered I just looked at her trying to see if this is my mother. This is the mother who always cared me and my sister was always happy and have everything we wanted. This woman wasn't showing any emotions. Her eyes were hard as stone. She was dressed in a black dressed. I think she is wearing her dark heart on the outside.

"Where is the sweet loving mother I know? What happened to you."

"I am still that person." She stand walking towards me. She outstretched her hands to put on my cheek but I turned my head refusing her touched.

"But business is business.We need to talk about the merger." It's always about business for her. She doesn't give a fuck about anything.

"Mother I don't want to talk about this anymore."