Beautiful Marriage

17. His eyes

Ashley

Joel. The fuck he's doing here. He hold me but I shoved his hands off me. He recoils his gun and placed it back on his waist and then hold me again , I shoved his hands off me and he hold me again. Seems he is not getting the idea in his head that I don't want him to touched me. I wished my eyes were a gun right now to shoot bullets at him. I looked at Elizabeth as Joel hold me by my hands. I managed to free my hand from his grip and escorted myself through out the door. He was behind me walking but I was walking faster to get to the elevator. His long legs managed to let him reached up to me and he stopped in front of me.

He was dressed in a black tailored suit and he looked really professional. It seems like he is the bodyguard to Elizabeth. I remembered before we broke up he told me that he was getting a new job but I never get the chance to asked him where. He was the security at the National Bank for three years but he wanted a job which allowed him to go around. He doesn't like to be in one place for two long.

I looked at the man I once loved with so much hatred in my eyes. I don't know if I have it in me to forgive him. It's just painful knowing that he betrayed me like that. Wasn't I good enough for him. His piercing blue eyes looked at me as he steady himself  trying not to fall. His eyes were always breathtaking. His eyes I always loved looking into. Those eyes would take away my breath and I wouldn't stopped looking in them but now it wasn't doing anything. It was just blue eyes which are not breathtaking anymore. It's eyes I wished would never looked at me again. It's eyes I wanted to pluck out right now. Why out of all the places in the world he has to be working for this company.

I tried to get around him but it was useless. His muscular arms hold me firm "Ashley" he breathes.

That's my name asshole just say what you want.

"I would kill you right now but I would go to prison." I have better things to lived for anyways.

"I miss you."

"Funny because I don't miss you at all." 

"I can't have you looking at me with so much hatred."

"Too late. My mind is already made up. I hate you."

"I still love you and I miss you,alot."

"Did you love me when you were fucking my cousin behind my back on my bed? On the sheets I bought?" I have tried so hard not to think about the two of them.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

"I hope you are treating her better than you did me."

"I never mistreated you baby. I just made a fucked up decision which I regret so much. I loose you, I loose the love of my life."

"What do you know about love? I'm sure love is not sleeping around behind my back in my bed?"

"Ashley." He breathes.

"Don't call my name."

"Please"

"We were building something Joel but you ruined it all." Saying his name is like acid on my tongue. It's burning my tongue so bad.

"I know. I'm sorry I messed up. I'm really sorry." He ran his hands through his blond hair and messed it up, letting it sticks up in all direction. There was a bit of sweat forming on his forehead. I don't understand why he was sweating in such cool weather and the building here had air conditioning.

"Just leave me alone." I breathed as he looked at me. He let go his hold on me and I rubbed the spot.

"What can I do for you to forgive me?"  He asked lifting his hand from his side  using it to smooth my hair. I take a step back. He take a step towards me and pulled me into a hugged. I pushed him off. I don't want him to touched me. It's making me feel so uncleaned.