The Comeback

Chapter 14 - Stop and Stare

Chapter 14 - Stop and Stare

When I wake up I have a feeling that I should remember something, like my dream. I should remember what I dreamt of last night, but I can’t. There’s a part of me telling me it’s important that I remember, but then another part doesn’t want to. Maybe it’s one of those dreams again, about Cass, and I don’t want to remember so I won’t feel like I’m going crazy.

I shrug the feeling off and leave my bed. Zayn is still sleeping so I try to be quiet while I get ready to leave. I have this urge to go out for a walk. I don’t know where I’ll be going, but I guess I can just wander around, go to some shops. I don’t know. Rob keeps telling me that I have to walk every day in order to keep working on my full recovery. Walking is a good exercise.

We’re at the beginning of March and it’s still really cold, so I put on a coat before leaving the room. I don’t even listen to music, I just walk at my own pace, looking around, taking notice of everything. London is so beautiful during winter and I feel like I never stopped to appreciate that.

Since I woke up from the coma I haven’t done crazy things as to feel like I’m fully living my life. What I’ve done instead is to stop and stare. I don’t just go through the motion anymore, but I live the moment. At my own pace, I don’t feel rushed. I’ve seen things that I never saw before. I’ve stopped to smell  the perfume of the bread just made in the morning, or the smell of coffee when it’s so cold. I’ve stopped to feel the raindrops falling on my skin and then sliding slowing down my cheeks. I’ve stopped to see kids running behind the other, laughing uncontrollably. I’ve stopped to see how the tree branches fight to stay firm when snow is trying to tear them down.

I’m using my second chance to see things I always took for granted, to pay attention to the details and I never thought it would so rewarding.

I visit shops I would never pay a second look before and I’ve found great things. I even have Mum’s present for her birthday already. It’s so different when you stop for a while and look around. You’ll find marvellous things.

During my walk I stop by a music shop. It’s a vintage one and I don’t normally listen to vinyl, but they are cool. I walk around the stacks with so many vinyl, finding amazing albums that I never thought I would see.

In a moment I look up and I see curly hair, very, very curly and for a moment my heart races until I notice it’s not light brown, almost like honey, curly hair but blonde curly hair. It’s not Cassie. I know I just saw her yesterday and I got her number, but I think it’s too soon to call her. Plus, I’m still trying to make sure whether I fancy her or not. Most likely I do, but still.

I sigh a bit disappointed that it wasn’t Cass, but then I hear her name. “Cass, I found it!” A feminine voice says out loud and I raise my head once again to see the curly blonde with a vinyl in one hand, the other waving at someone. I look in the direction she’s staring at and I find another curly-haired girl, with strands like the colour of honey and this time my heart does a backflip in my chest. This time it is Cassidy.

Cass smiles radiantly and approaches the other girl. I watch the exchange between them, the moment the blonde hands The Beatles’ vinyl to Cass and the way she holds it so carefully, with reverence. “You found it! Nessa, you’re the best!”

The blonde, Nessa I presume, smiles cockily before her smiles turns sweet as she sees Cass looking at the vinyl with loving eyes. I smile, too.

In a moment Cassidy looks up and frowns, just before she looks right and her eyes meet mine immediately. It’s like she knew exactly where I was standing before she even turned around. She looks surprised but she smiles instantly when she notices me. Without saying anything, she takes Nessa’s wrist and drags her along as she keeps walking up to me.