Chapter 12 - Theory
More time has passed since I left the hospital and I’m feeling loads better. Not only physically, but also psychologically. What do I mean? That I don’t feel like I’m going crazy. The crazy dreams? They have stopped or if I’ve had some, I can’t remember and I’m really grateful because of that. I can relax a notch and I don’t have to panic before going to sleep. Nevertheless, I still miss Cassidy. It’s like a part of me can only think of her and wants to see her, but I never run into her when I go to the hospital for the physiotherapy.
However, it’s great to be back. I can finally appreciate that, and I’m getting the hand of everything again; with my classes and friends. It’s also great to have my best friend because I was kinda panicking with all the dreams, trying to make sense out of everything. I was actually afraid I was losing it and I was going to end up in an asylum.
Zayn is not only a very supportive friend, fun and chill, he’s also a good therapist. I’m not joking, he’s always been great with advice and he really listens to you when you are drowning in your worries. We’ve been friends for many years and he’s always been there for me. I knew that if I told him about these dreams he wouldn’t just discard them as nothing.
“So you’re having dreams about this girl from the hospital?” He asks me when we’re in our dorm after studying for the whole afternoon for the upcoming test. I’m on my bed, tossing a ball to the wall next to Zayn’s bed just to channel frustration and worry.
“Kinda. It’s not like I’m having dreams about me and her, you know?” I tell him but he frowns from his bed, trying to follow my explanation. I sigh deeply before explaining what’s going on. “I dream I’m another guy, a guy who knew her for her whole life. I’m dreaming of her past with someone else.”
His frown deepens and I know he’s thinking long and hard about this, trying to make sense out of it. The very thing I’ve been doing since I had the first dream.
“How frequent are these dreams?” He asks me and I think about it.
“When I was in the hospital I would have one every time I fell asleep, but now that I’m back I haven’t had one.” Zayn raises his eyebrows as if saying ‘there you have it’ but now it’s my turn to frown so he catches the ball the next time I throw it.
“Probably it was because she was around. Who knows? Maybe it was the medication or maybe while you were sleeping she told you stories about her life. You told me she lost her best friend. Maybe you’re just filling the gap with this guy you dream of,” my friend explains and I consider his theory. It could be and it wouldn’t be that weird. I know she spent a lot of time looking after me when I was still in the coma, and maybe she did tell me stories and those are my dreams. “We can look something up on the Internet to put you at ease,” he offers next and I smile.
He goes for his laptop and opens it and starts typing. With more ease than from when I left the hospital, I leave my bed and sit next to him, watching what he’s looking up. We visit many links that explain a coma and how doctors deal with it. I learn that I was on the line to get into a persist coma and that would’ve been even worse. I woke up at the limit. I’m also very lucky I don’t have other repercussions like failure of my organs or brain damage and my memory is totally fine. Cassidy was right, I’m extremely lucky.
Whilst looking for side effects of a coma we only find physical consequences, so we have to look for more personal experiences. People talk about dreams during the coma and I don’t remember anything. Maybe I will later, I don’t know. Anyways, we do find that some people dream of the stories their families read to them, some of them made up lives they didn’t have.
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The Comeback
FanfictionPeople say that when you have an unfinished business your soul will stay lingering on this world until you resolve whatever you have to do. And they are right. In my case: I have to tell my best friend I'm in love with her. Long ago I made a promise...