The Comeback

Chapter 20 - Something Else

Chapter 20 - Something Else

“Please, tell me?” The words echo around us and her eyes are on me, so intently, so conflicted. But I don’t understand, why is she acting like this? She never looked at me like that before. It’s not the kind of sorrow I see when she thinks of Jake, it’s not the kind of sorrow when she realises something has been abandoned… this is sheer confusion, like she’s torn but I neither understand how or why.

“It’s— it’s hard to explain,” she says with a heavy sigh and I do the same.

“Try, I bet I can follow you. I really want to understand because I thought— I thought things were fine between us, I thought we were—” I stop myself before I say friends because I know that’s what we are, although I want something more. “I thought we were friends at least,” I finally say and she looks down again.

I don’t think Cassie has ever denied her friendship to someone, would she do that to me? She’s not that type.

“We are,” she says and I take another deep breath, waiting for the but that it’s coming. “But with you it's different.”

“In what sense?” I ask, a part of me getting its hopes up, another part dreading what she will say.

She looks into her coffee as if the foam is the most fascinating thing she’s ever seen and I want to push her to speak, to tell me what’s going on once and for all.

“I don’t think we should keep spending time together, going out, you know?” She says and I have to admit it, my heart breaks a little. Why would she say that?

Her eyes look for mine and I see she’s not happy with what she’s saying, I notice it, but at the same time, she’s honest. She actually believes in what she’s telling me. But I don’t understand, did I do something wrong? Did I offend her somehow?

“Why?” I manage to say, barely a whisper and it hurts to imagine the options.

She stares into my eyes for a while, none of us saying anything. “Because you feel different,” she states and I frown, not understanding why that would be a bad thing. “Spending time with you doesn’t feel like when I spend time with Harry, for instance.”

“And that’s bad why…?” I leave the question open, because I really don’t understand and I know she’s getting frustrated.

“Because when I spend time with Harry it doesn’t feel like I’m doing something wrong.”

“But when you spend time with me it feels like that,” I suggest and she looks away and that’s all the answer I need, that’s all the confirmation I was looking for. “You know,” I start, hurt and disappointed, but most of all, heartbroken. “I’m not a bad person. Maybe I’m not the most hilarious guy, maybe I’m not your best friend Jake who loved the same things as you, who knew you for your whole life, maybe I’m not the guy who can make you laugh so easily, but I’m not a bad person.”

Her green eyes are on me immediately, with panic this time and guilt. Well, that’s fine, that she feels a bit bad about this, because I feel worse, I feel rejected.

“It’s not that, Liam!” She exclaims and I shake my head.

“Then what? How do I feel wrong but not your other friends? Why is it me the one you can’t spend time with?” I spat, getting frustrated myself because I don’t understand and because I like her, I really like her and she doesn’t even want to spend time with me.

She groans and rubs her hands on her face, heavy breathing as she is struggling with something. “It’s not what you think, you are a great guy, Liam,” I roll my eyes because then it doesn’t make any sense. All what she’s telling me doesn’t make any sense.