The Comeback

Chapter 36 - The Letter

Chapter 36 - The Letter

I open my eyes and for three seconds everything is blissful ignorance and I enjoy those three seconds because right after the memories come back. Jake. Louis. A decision. A goodbye. He is leaving, he just has something else to do. We have, because it’s clearly he can’t accomplish something without my help. But what does he exactly have in mind?

Morning, Jake speaks and I take a deep breath. I couldn’t have five minutes alone. Are you ready?

“What are we doing? I don’t think Cassie wants to hear me out again,” I state sitting straight on my bed and looking at Zayn. He is still sleeping.

Careful not to wake him up I leave my bed and go to the bathroom to get ready for the day. As I follow the daily routine, I wait for Jake’s plan. Of course he has something in mind, all this is his last chance and I really hope that this is actually the last thing he asks me to do. I really hope he leaves after this.

I’m leaving, I just need to say a proper goodbye. Me, not you, he replies to my thoughts.

“And how are you gonna do that, uh? Last time I checked only I could hear you,” I remind him as I step out of the shower and clean the mirror to shave next.

And that’s why I need you, Liam, Jake speaks in my mind and I roll my eyes. Yes, I knew that. Can you please stop with the attitude? You have your love, you’ll get Cass, you have your life. What else do you want? Stop with the moody attitude and remember I saved your life. This is all I have and I’m just trying to finally step aside and let you and Cass be happy. I’m giving up on her for you, so can you at least be nice?

I feel like snapping at him and defying him. Why should I be nice after all what he’s made me go through? But he’s right, he saved my life in a way only Jake could do it. I’m still living, I have so much ahead while this is all he has left and I can feel the difference. He’s not as strong as he used to be, his voice is not as loud and clear. He’s fading, every day a bit more and soon he’ll be nothing. The last thing I can do is to help him on this.

“Sorry,” I mumble and I sigh. “I’ll help you but I don’t know if it’ll work. She doesn’t want to talk to me, clearly.”

You won’t talk to her, he replies and I look at my reflection confused.

“What are you planning, Jake?”

I’ll write her a letter… well, you will write her a letter in my name. I’ll tell you everything you have to write and then you’ll hand it to her. That’s all what I’m asking you. I died without telling her and without saying goodbye. I want to make sure she knows clearly that I loved her but at the same time I want her to be happy.

I only stare at my reflection, almost hoping to see Jake there. I never really met him but I respect the strength of his love, the passion in his words and decisions. I don’t know if I would’ve ever sacrificed myself for love.

If you ever get to love her as much as I did… you wouldn’t think twice about it. She is worth it.

And I believe him, I feel how much he means those words and it’s not hard to imagine it. I love Cassidy and I know I can love her even more, maybe one day as much as Jake loved her —if that’s possible. I just know I’ll love her the best I can.

And that’s why I think you’re the only one I would approve of for her. I still don’t fully like you, though, Jake speaks and I laugh because it just seems funny how I finally got Jake’s approval. It wasn’t easy and I guess it’s a lot influenced by the fact he’s running out of time. Maybe if he were alive I would’ve never got his approval.