The Comeback

Chapter 35 - Decision

Chapter 35 - Decision

Liam loves Cassidy. He’s so sure about it and I… I know it this time, I can notice the difference because he feels the way I felt the moment I realised my feelings for her. The same excitement, the same clearness. And as much as it hurt him when Cass rejected him, it hurts me now that he loves her and he can do something. He’ll try to win her back, whereas I never did anything to change our relationship. Liam won’t make the mistake I did and I hate him for that. For having the time I didn’t have.

Why can he be with her but not me? Why Liam, who doesn’t know her like I do? Why Liam, who didn't even appreciate her from the beginning? Why did I have to die before I could tell her? I didn’t even get to kiss her once and Liam has kissed her so many times.

It’s not fair!

“Jake,” I hear my name and I groan.

“Can’t you leave me alone?” I demand, not turning to meet the carrier. I know he’s there. He’s always there.

“When Liam is awake you bother him, and when he’s free from you, I bother you. That’s the fair thing to do,” he replies and I can hear the mock in his voice. I want to laugh sarcastically at him, but I control myself.

“I’m really not in the mood, Louis,” I tell him folding my arms, still conflicted.

“Because Liam realised about his feelings and won’t buy your little mind game anymore?” The carrier suggests and I tense up for saying it so bluntly. Not that I don’t know it, but still. It annoys me. “Well, it was about time.”

“Shut up,” I spat turning around to glare at him. “All this is not fair because I should be there, telling Cass how much I love her. Not Liam! He shouldn’t even love her! This wasn’t supposed to happen,” I complain, hating this whole situation.

“I told you from the beginning that this wasn’t going to be like you hoped. I told you, many times, but you ignored me. You ignited things between Liam and Cassidy. Of course they fell for each other, it’s part of their destinies,” Louis explains and I gasp because he never said that before. He never talked about destiny. “You pushed them into this and you can’t change what you did.”

“But it’s not fair!” I protest closing my eyes. “He shouldn’t love her.”

“But he does,” Louis insists and I hate that he sounds so confident, so sure about it. His voice doesn’t give room to further discussion. “And Cassidy loves him,” he adds and that breaks me, not my heart but every part of me. “She loves you, but she let you go already and she’s just moving on. She loves Liam, whether you like it or not, and all this is hurting her.”

No, no, no. It hasn’t been that long. She can’t love Liam, not when she knows I’m still here… not when she knows I love her. She knows that. But why Liam? Why is Liam getting all what I wanted but never had? I’ve been by her side all her life but I died before I could tell her, now this? Why? Can someone tell me why?

Frustrated I turn around, giving my back to Louis again and rubbing my hands on my face. Nothing is like I expected. She knows about my feelings, but that changes nothing, that only hurt her. And it hurt Liam.

Oh God, what am I doing?

“Why did I die?” I ask Louis because maybe he knows. I just need to know if there was a plan, a bigger plan in which I didn’t have to be alive to be part of it. A plan in which I end up alone and Liam gets the girl I’ve loved my whole life. My perfect girl.