The Comeback

Chapter 30 - First Try

Chapter 30 - First Try

Cassidy looks down, almost as if she were ashamed for what I have to tell her, yet she doesn’t know. She can’t imagine what my real intentions are.

“I know you’d want I could just get over him, but it’s not that easy, Liam. It’s not, and I’m trying but I need more time,” she starts and I shake my head.

“It’s not that,” I cut her off and now she looks up to meet my eyes again, confusion swirling in hers.

“Then what is it?” She asks and I wonder if she feels that this won’t be nice. Not for her, not for me.

It’s so hard to explain and I really don’t know how to begin. I can’t just drop the bomb telling her that Jake’s soul is inside my body and that he’s stuck around because he wants to tell her he’s been in love with her forever. But there isn’t a subtle way to say something like this either, is there?

I take a deep breath and close my eyes for two seconds. The only way is to say it, forget about being subtle. “You know the day Jake died I was also declared dead, right? Well, it happened at the same time.” Cassidy nods and waits for me to carry on, but I really have no clue how to do that.

Just tell her! Jakes pushes me in my head and I groan.

“Fine!” I reply and she looks confused slash scared. “Sorry, I wasn't telling you that. Anyways, back to the topic. The thing is that when Jake died he well, uh… refused to go, you know? Like he refused to follow the light.”

There’s not really a light, it’s all just white. I’m not sure why, Jake interrupts me and it takes all my will power not to shout at him to shut up.

“Liam,” Cassidy says in a whisper but I raise my hand as to ask her to just listen to me.

“He refused to go because he had an unfinished business and I don’t know why, but he came to me. He actually helped me when I was dead. I know it’s hard to believe and I thought it was just a dream at the beginning, but he saved me, Cassie. Jake pulled me back inside my body, that’s when I ‘came back’. The miracle the doctors talked about was Jake all along.”

“Why are you telling me this?” She asks and I shake my head.

“Because he didn’t only save me, Cassie. He stayed with me. He is with me. All this time, he’s been with me and he wants me to tell you something.”

Cassie doesn’t say anything, she just looks at me with confusion in her eyes, but I also see pain in her expression, like she is actually suffering for what I’m telling her.

“It took me a while to realise he’s been here with me but I’ve managed to talk to him and Cass…” I say, deliberately using the way Jake used to call her, not the way I do. “He wants to tell you he was in love with you, too.” Cassidy gasps as she hears those words, her eyes filled with unleashed tears. “He was driving the day he died because he wanted to tell you. That’s all he wants now, for you to know he loved you like you can’t imagine.”

That’s the moment Cassidy lets go of the tears and a sob escapes her lips. I knew, I knew this would hurt her and it hurts me that she is crying, that this is paining her but what else can I do? I want to reach her, to hug her and promise her things will be fine but I don’t have that right, do I? I don’t really love her like I thought I did.

She rubs her hands on her face and I know she’s fighting to collect herself, to stay in one piece when I’ve just told her this. And I’m waiting for the questions, for all the things she will want to know. I’m even waiting for her to ask me to tell Jake that she stills loves him, that she’ll love him forever and although that annoys me, I push that feeling aside.