The Comeback

Chapter 19 - Fading Away

Chapter 19 - Fading Away

I’ve never met Liam’s soul and I wonder why. Am I really inside Liam’s body? I know I’m always in this empty white space, but where does his soul reside? The only time I saw his soul was when he died at the hospital and I pulled him inside again. Since then I haven’t met him again. I wonder what would happen if I meet him. Would we talk? Would we discuss this situation? Would he kick me out?

I know his soul is out there, somewhere, and it’s a big part of him. No matter how much I try, I’m just a little part of his conscience. Yes, he’s more perceptive now, but still, he doesn’t exactly do what I tell him to do. And no matter how much I try to fool myself, I know his feelings are real. Yet, they are not even a tenth part of my feelings for Cass, but he does fancy her. I can notice the difference and I don’t like it. Not at all. And it’s hard because I need them to spend time together, Cass really needs to trust him for when he tells her I’m still here, wanting to tell her how much I love her. But the more time they spend together, the stronger his feelings grow. And that’s not okay because he is alive, because he’s there with her, while I’m here trapped, fading away maybe?  I try to remember other parts of my life, but I can’t. Cassidy is all I can remember.

I don’t want to push them closer than they are… but I need them to get closer at the same time.

Why can’t we go back to that point when Liam didn’t find Cass attractive and thought of her as a little girl?

And the worst part is not even that. The worst part is that I know my best friend, I know her like I know myself and I see a difference in her attitude towards Liam. She doesn’t act in the friendly way towards him that she keeps with everyone else. She’s shy, she blushes a lot, she giggles more and she is trying to avoid him. And I know, oh how I know it’s because she’s feeling conflicted. And that’s why I try to help Liam to think of places where to take her, places she’d like to see… places we never got to see. I show him memories from time to time, just to remind him that she loves me… she still loves me; but I also suggest him ideas whilst he’s sleeping.

What am I doing?

“Problems in paradise?” A voice asks and I jump in the air as I scream like a little girl. When I turn around Louis is staring at me with a raised eyebrow. “Very manly. Is that how you stole Cassidy’s heart?”

“Shut up,” I spat taking a deep breath to calm down. “What are you doing here? Did you come to mock me because this is a disaster?”

“I do enjoy doing that,” Louis starts and I snort, not surprised. “But I didn’t come for that exactly. That’s just a plus.” He grins cockily and I just shake my head. “I know you noticed how you can’t remember other parts of your life.”

My eyes widen in surprise when he mentions that. “What do you know?”

“I know exactly what’s happening and I need to warn you, Jake. You’re fading away,” he says and I hold my breath. That was a theory, but now he’s confirmed it. “You’re staying here for one purpose and you are becoming that purpose. All the rest is gone and you lost that part already the moment you refused to leave.”

“Will I ever get that back?” I ask, scared of the answer. Louis doesn’t reply immediately but I see his sad eyes and the pity swirling in them.

“I’m sorry, but you didn’t even give me the chance to tell you that. You’re not supposed to be here, I’ve told you that many times,” he repeats and I roll my eyes. I’ve heard that too many times.