Chapter 33 - Excuses
I’m again in this empty place, white is all what surrounds me but in my head all I see is Cass and her hurt expression, the tears streaming down her face, the way she looked so broken and how the sight broke my heart. But not only my heart, Liam’s as well. His pain… his pain was different from mine, his was combined with anger, so much anger. He hates me, I feel it. He is helping me, but he hates me for the things I’m making him go through.
“You shouldn’t be surprised,” a voice supports and I sigh heavily, knowing perfectly who he is.
“Louis,” I greet, my voice plain and lacking all emotion.
“Jake Wood,” he replies solemnly and I sigh again. “I imagine you are happy now. You’ve finally fulfilled your purpose and now you can move on. Cassidy Morris knows about your feelings.”
Yeah she knows, but it didn't go as I thought it would go. Yes, there was a bit of happiness in her eyes, but more than that I saw sorrow and regret. That’s not what I sought when I decided to tell her. I hoped she would be happy and relieved, not like this. She was left devastated after Liam told her.
I don’t feel any different, I’m just more concerned now.
“I can’t go. I’m not done,” I say and I’m sure that if I were looking at Louis I would see his shocked expression.
“Pardon?” He says and I turn this time to meet his incredulous gaze. “You said you only wanted to tell her and you did. She knows.”
“Yeah she does, but she’s not okay. She’s blaming herself and she’s sad. I can’t leave like this!”
Louis actually rolls his eyes and walks away from me, ruffling his hair and I think he’s losing his patience with me. But he said it, he can’t drag me to the Next Dimension, this has to be a willing decision.
“How can I put this for you so you can understand?” He rhetorically asks and I fold my arms. “The longer you stay here, the more memories you lose. You don’t realise this, but you’re losing a bit of you every day you spend here. Soon you’ll be nothing, not even a soul. You still have something, you still have a chance. You can still be judged, Jake. Don’t be an idiot, and save yourself. She knows, what else do you need to do here?”
“She’s unhappy!” I protest and he looks furious.
“She’s alive! Of course she’s unhappy, it’s part of being alive. They suffer, they cry but they get over it and move on. And she was moving on until you came and destroyed all what she had done. And you know what else you did? You took away what she was just accepting: Liam. You took him away from her and that, Jake, that hurt her even more.”
I refuse to believe that. I guess Cass has some feelings for him, but that’s probably the same case as with Liam; it’s because I’m here. She can feel me near and Liam only feels an echo of my feelings. It’s better this way.
“Stop lying to yourself!” Louis interrupts my thoughts and I glare at him. “You know that what she feels is real, she likes Liam Payne. And he likes her but you keep making him believe it’s only you.”
“Because he would’ve never looked at her if it hadn’t been because of me!” I protest because I know, I opened his eyes.
“You helped, but those are his feelings! You can’t make someone love another person. You opened his eyes but Cassidy did the rest. She made him fall in love with her!” The carrier shouts and I step back because he’s talking about love, about falling in love.
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The Comeback
FanfictionPeople say that when you have an unfinished business your soul will stay lingering on this world until you resolve whatever you have to do. And they are right. In my case: I have to tell my best friend I'm in love with her. Long ago I made a promise...