Leave Me Breathless

Chapter 8

2015

His kisses set my soul on fire. No, not only my soul, my entire being.

"When did this happen?"

"When did what happen?" I ask breathless from being kissed.

"When did you become my weakness?"

I stare at his head trailing kisses down my abdomen, my stomach clenching at the feeling and at his words.

"That's simple, it was when you became my strength." I answer, raking my hands through his already dishevelled hair.

His eyes lift to mine and I can't describe the look in his eyes. It's nothing short of wonder. That I can do this to him with words further sanctifies the sort of power I have over him. And it makes me giddy.

"You are stealth personified." I say to him. He raises an eyebrow and makes his way slowly back up my body.

"We were friends, then we were... this. I don't know how, I don't know when, and to be honest, I don't really care." The last word falling off my lips in a whisper. "As long as it doesn't stop."

He kisses my lips and covers my body with his.

Present

I awake with arms full of Kai. I let this go too far. What the fuck am I doing, I've never been a cheater and yet last night happened, more than once. For a fleeting moment I allow myself to think that what if I could get him back. Then I'm smacked back to reality by the thought of a beautiful blonde who has no idea what or who her boyfriend is doing. But I mean, he can't be happy if he's here right. I should have just listened to him when he said to stop last night. But no, I'm like a hussy, who at the sight of a six pack drops her panties to the ground. He drives me insane though. Whoever the hell said breakups were about sad songs and eating ice cream are fucking liars. Nobody ever mentioned the vivid dreams where you wake up crying wishing they were real or missing the touch of their lips on your neck so much so that it makes you ache. And it's because of that damn ache that I'm in my current situation.

I try and ease my body out from under Kai's but he moves, holds on tighter and groans in that irresistible morning voice. He nuzzles my neck and immediately I feel my body responding. Kai lifts himself onto his elbow and with one hand at my hip drags my body to beneath his.

"What are you doing?" I laugh.

"Trying to convince you." he trails kisses from my ear to my neck.

"Convince me of what?" I ask, still smiling.

"To wing it."

"It's way too early to be this cryptic, tell me what you want." My voice becomes more airy as his kisses start having the desired effect.

His hands travel down my body to the back of my knees and he pulls my legs up, allowing me to feel more of him. This is a dangerous game we are playing.

He looks deep into my eyes, all traces of fun and laughter gone.

"Don't take the morning after pill."

A tiny laugh escapes my lips.

"You're kidding right?"

"No I'm not. Think about it. If you are pregnant, I could marry you."

I pause to look at him, trying to check if he actually can hear the shit coming out of his mouth.

"Get off me."

"What?"

"You are un-fucking-believable. Get off me!"

He sees my anger and rolls off of me. I grab the closest t-shirt I can find and only once it's over my head do I realise it's his.

There's no point in searching for my underwear it's not like he hasn't already seen everything, and his t-shirt covers up all the essentials.

"You would marry me if I'm pregnant. Fuck you Kai." He's totally taken aback by my outburst but my anger only becomes more fuelled when he stares at me as if I'm crazy. "You know what, this is all my fault, I fucking let you in again. Not once, when we were together did you even mention love, not once. Now you want to marry me should I be pregnant. Oh my God, this is actually hilarious. This is a fucking joke Kai. Get out."

"I told you all the time."

Oh hell fucking no.

"You told me that you loved me, wow, I don't recall hearing that at all." Why I'm even bothering to argue with him, I have no idea. "You can't even say it can you."

"Because uttering those words aren't the only way to say I love you Noah. Noah are you hungry, did you eat today. Baby are you warm enough. Noah can I get you anything. Lie down while I rub your back. Put your seatbelt on. Those are the words that count Noah and those are what I told you every single day. What more did you want me to do?"

I'm torn between believing that he's trying to say that he actually loved me or being hurt that he hasn't really said it.

"Make sure Athena knows that's how you say I love you. Now please leave."

And I turn and head to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.