The Intern

Chapter 17

I watched as Levi walked towards the door and my legs carried me forward, moving me until I had him pinned against the wall. I stared down into his surprised eyes, certain that he would fight me back and positive that I didn't give a shit. I had almost lost him too many times over the past few days and I wasn't just going to let him get away now. Not when I was just starting to realize what he meant to me. Not when I was starting to understand what I might mean to him. I wouldn't lose him this time. I refused to have my heart shredded over and over again by this man.

"Tell me what you meant by that," I demanded. I wanted to sound determined and self-assured, but I knew the crack in my voice showed the desperation I was feeling inside. What was this man doing to me?

"What are you talking about?" Levi snapped back, feigning either innocence or stupidity. Neither of them fit him, and the confused expression on his face wasn't enough to throw me off track.

"You said I left before you had the chance to tell me," I pushed forward with the question. I had come this far and even shoved him into the wall. I couldn't just give up now. "What were you going to say?"

"I forgot," his voice was cold and defensive, and he punctuated the words by trying to shove me away from him but I held my position.

"Bullshit!" I yelled. I didn't care if anyone else heard us now. "You know exactly what you wanted to say, so tell me!"

"It doesn't matter anymore, brat." Levi's voice was so cold that I could almost feel the barrier he had built up between us. Was it too strong and too thick to shatter now?

"It does matter," I interjected, my voice cracking more this time. I didn't really care at this point. If I was going to lose him, it wouldn't be without tears and a struggle. I was in too deep for anything else. "It matters to me. It matters so fucking much. You have no idea how much."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you left me on that curb," he retorted and pushed at my chest. I almost gave way and freed him, but I stopped myself by wrapping my hands around his wrists.

"I'm sorry," my voice trembled as much as my hands, "I shouldn't have left you there. You begged me not to and I don't know why... damn it, Levi, I don't know why I got in that car. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"You're sorry, huh? Of course you're sorry now," his words were clipped and he spun his wrists so quickly that my grip on him broke and I was held captive instead. It was almost alarming how easily he could overcome me. He had allowed me to restrain him up until now. "You're sorry that things didn't turn out the way you wanted. Well, tough shit. That's what happens when you hurt someone. Don't expect me to drop down and kiss your ass just because you apologized. It'll take more than that."

"Then tell me what it will take," I interrupted and pulled my wrists out of his grip. He let me but the guarded expression on his face told me he was ready to restrain me again if I tried to touch him. I wasn't about to. I was too focused on trying to put together the broken pieces that were left of us. "Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

"I told you what to do." Levi stared up into my eyes as he spoke the words in a cold, unfeeling voice. He wasn't letting me in at all. "I asked you to stay, and you didn't. There's no second chances for you."

"You say that like there was a chance in the first place," I said through a bitter laugh and tried to ignore the all too familiar ache in my chest.

The expression on his face, which had remained an impassive mask until now, melted into one of regret and pity. He stared at me as if I didn't know anything about the world, and he was probably right. When he spoke again, there was so much emotion in his words that his voice trembled as hard as my body, and my heart broke in my chest.