The Intern

Chapter 54

There's something about tragedy that makes the whole world stand still.

In the few short seconds that I heard the horns blaring and the metal crunching, I knew I was screaming. My heart was racing and my lungs were pumping. And then my legs were moving, pushing me forward and driving me through the statues that were once people. But they weren't anymore. People could move and they weren't moving. Nothing was. Not a car on the street or a plane in the sky. The city was dead, and I could hear none of it.

But that didn't matter to me now.

The whole fucking world could stay a statue if he was gone from it. I wouldn't want it anymore.

And the most terrifying thing about that was I meant it. I didn't care about any of this if Armin was gone, and I hadn't known that until now. My life had always been so much more, but that was because I knew he was a part of it. I had been holding onto some guarantee that he would be there through all of the shit that went on in my life. But now I didn't have that anymore. It was being ripped away from me, abruptly and violently, and I wasn't sure I knew how to survive without it.

Without him.

"Armin!"

The word was a pained cry that ripped out of my throat as if it had been trapped in there for years. Broken and ragged, filled with more sorrow, more agony, than I would have ever thought possible. And it was loud enough to jerk dozens of eyes towards me. Eyes that didn't matter. Eyes that were in my way.

The city was starting to move again.

And I was worried it wouldn't wait for me. That it would take him away before I had the chance to get there. The chance to see him for what might be the last time.

"No."

There was so much determination in a word that may as well have been a sob. It was nothing more than that, but right now it was the only thing I could feel. The unwavering refusal that something like this could be happening to me, to us. Because it couldn't be. It wasn't fair. This wasn't supposed to be our world, our life. This wasn't meant to be my struggle. What I had suffered through before was so much easier than this, and I wanted it all back now.

I wanted to sob over him. I wanted to be broken over him.

I wanted to live that eternity, as long as it wouldn't be this.

Because what more did we have now? There was nothing left to fight for and even if there was, I wouldn't. I wouldn't fight for him anymore. Not after this. Not after Armin. There were no words in the world that could make this better. Nothing he could say to take back what he'd done. Not that it mattered. Not that he would. The fact that Armin had discovered them that way told me he was over me now. And even if he wasn't, it didn't make a difference. I wouldn't forgive him for this.

He wanted me to give up. He wanted it to end.

And now I would give him everything he asked for.

The sudden shift was almost alarming. Moments ago I would have never thought it would be possible to be this angry with someone I loved so much. But I was. I was furious. I didn't want to imagine his face or speak his name, even though it had been all that plagued my mind just before the call. The call that ended everything. The call that stole it all away. A future I thought I wanted and a friend I couldn't live without. All gone.

And I didn't even get to say goodbye.

"Shit!"

I turned the corner and ignored the burning in my legs, refusing to let it slow me down now. Not when I was this close. Not when I had the chance to reach him, and I was almost certain that I could. I hadn't been that far from the company, and I could hear the ambulances already. Loud blaring sirens, racing in the same direction as me. Sirens that could potentially make a difference, either good or bad. They could save his life or steal away the last moments I would ever have with him. And those were moments I wasn't willing to give up.