The Intern

Chapter 35

"So what are you gonna do now that you have me up here?"

I opened my mouth but no words came out. None had since we'd gotten to his floor and into the hotel room. I was at a loss, and I had no idea why. There were a million thoughts rushing through my head, all of them were centered around him, and yet I couldn't get a single one of them past my tongue. Of course that was probably because I was too terrified of what would happen if I said the wrong thing yet again. I was finally close to him, alone with him for the first time in days and I wasn't ready to have that end just because I had to stick my foot in my mouth.

"If you're gonna pull this mime shit, you can do it in the hall," Levi filled in the silence with his clipped words. "Because I'm not having this conversation for the both of us. If you don't have anything to say then you can just-"

"I have plenty to say," I blurted out, cutting him off, "I just can't think of what to start with."

"Then call me when you do."

I could already see him shoving me out the door, but I wasn't going to let that happen again. I'd promised myself that much. "I'm sorry."

"Oh?" Levi leaned against the wall beside the door and folded his arms as if he were settling in for a long conversation. "Sorry for what?"

"For everything."

"Everything?" he repeated, fixing me with an annoyed stare. "For the World Wars? The unemployment crisis? The dinosaurs?"

"I didn't mean that," I rolled my eyes, "I meant everything to do with us."

"Are you sorry you met me?"

"What? No! I never said-"

"Then maybe you should say what you mean," he continued in a voice that was as sharp as a knife, "Instead of just apologizing for everything. Because if you think you can just make this all go away with some fucking cop out like that, then you're about to be really surprised."

"I wasn't..." I paused and shook my head, closing my eyes as I tried to think of a way through this. I never expected it to be that easy, but at the same time I didn't know what to say. I was sorry for every bad thing that had happened to us because it had brought us to this point. A point where we were teetering on the edge of having anything at all. We were so close to breaking and I was struggling to hold on.

"I know you weren't," he sighed, "I know I shouldn't be expecting anything more than this, but fuck kid... can't you just tell me what's in that thick head of yours? Because I'm tired of trying to read it."

I took a deep breath and then shrugged, staring down between us as I said the only words that could explain away my silence. "I'm scared that I'm gonna say something wrong and that you'll make me leave."

Levi eyed me for a long moment and then pushed away from the wall, crossing the short distance between us. "So you're scared of how I'm going to react... you're scared of what I'm going to do to you. Is that right?"

I opened my mouth to counter the statement, to tell him I wasn't scared of him at all, but I knew I'd be lying. He could end us right now if I said the wrong thing and nothing terrified me more. So I nodded.

"What's our safe word, Eren?"

I felt my brow furrow confusion, but answered anyway. "Wings..."

"Exactly," he murmured, taking my hand in his before placing his wrist into my palm and letting me see the shape of his black wing tattoo. "So when you say something that pisses me off, I'll use our word and you'll stop."

I stared down at the tattoo, not really seeing the point. It wouldn't stop me from saying something stupid in the end. "You'll already be mad by then."