The Intern

Chapter 38

"I feel like I'm back at The Wall..."

There was really no other way to put it. It was as if we had taken a car ride in one large circle only to end up right back where we started. Only this wasn't the club. It wasn't familiar. It was one fucked-up room that I hadn't been in yet, and as much as I tried to remind myself that I wasn't supposed to freak out, I kept forgetting. I could feel the worried panic rising inside me, my mind consumed with nagging thoughts as to why he would keep this a secret. Why he would need to hide this from me. Why he'd never so much as mentioned it, even in passing.

Hey, Eren. Just wanted to let you know I have a sex pad right next to my office.

No big deal, right?

But it probably would have bothered me even then. Because somehow I knew he'd never brought anyone into his apartment, with the exception of his closest friends and myself. I'd never even thought of his sexual history until now. I'd dismissed the idea that he'd ever been with anyone other than Erwin or me, and that was only because it was impossible to ignore someone you worked with on a daily basis. Erwin had been his lover once. I couldn't ignore that.

And now I couldn't ignore this.

How many people had he brought here before me? How many different bodies were beneath him on that bed? When was the last time he was with any of them?

In the back of my mind I had to wonder if I should actually be grateful to have something that worried me this much. Worried me to the point that I almost forgot everything else.

"Stop it."

Levi's voice was sharp with command, the order cracking from his tongue like a whip. I probably would've jumped if I weren't so focused on the room in front of me, but the word was just enough to draw my attention back to him.

"Is that how you're going to talk to me while we're here?" I asked, my voice surprisingly calm despite the storm of emotions brewing inside me. I turned my gaze to him and watched the confusion enter his eyes. "Should I call you Corporal?"

"You can call me whatever the fuck you want if it gets that look out of your eyes," he retorted, "But don't expect me to treat you like you're one of my playthings while you're here. That's not what this is about."

"Do you have a lot of them?"

I knew I shouldn't have asked, but I couldn't stop the words from leaving my lips the moment he brought up the word. Being called a plaything wouldn't have bothered me, but he was applying the term to someone else and he was using it in the plural sense. It was like having his lovers fill the room, and each one was an uninvited guest to me. I felt like I could see them all, and it was making me sick.

Somehow I think he knew.

Levi regarded me for a long moment, searching my expression before he crossed the room to me. His movements were slow, as if he were trying to judge whether or not I would run from him. Not that he would let me get very far. Something in his eyes told me he wouldn't let me get away.

"A lot of what, kid? Crops? Whips?" There was a teasing lilt in his voice and his eyes were tinged with amusement. He stopped in front of me and cupped my chin, letting his thumb brush over my lower lip. His tone was serious now. "Do you really think you have to ask that question, Eren?"

I wasn't sure I needed to ask any of it, but it came out anyway. "When were you going to tell me?"

"That really depended on you," he answered simply, pausing for a moment to look around the room, "I haven't been here since meeting you, Eren. And unless this turned out to be the lifestyle you wanted to be a part of, I wasn't planning on ever bringing you here."