His eyes, his teary eyes, they penetrated you, bore sadness into your soul trying to read you. His thoughts were in shambles and the trust you two shared had been charred away into nothing. But even if that was so you wanted to comfort him to wrap him in you're arms and tell him it was okay. But you couldn't and now never could. You were now his enemy.
You woke up in a cold sweat, tears trailing down your cheeks, and fear emblazoned in your mind. Your eyes forever scared with the memory of your extinction, but also the beginning of life. You inhaled a shaky breath, wiping your face, and running you're fingers through your long h/c locks.
It was the same nightmare, where you finally excepted your fate. Where you died by the hands of the one you loved the most. But you didn't want to think about it, if anything you wanted to forget. "_____?" his voice called. You snapped your head up in response, meeting the warm emerald eyes of your lover. "Arthur..." you breathed. "Are you alright?" He asked, walking over to you. As He reached to embrace you, an image, flashed in your mind, making you flinch at his touch.
The gun, it was always the gun...his gun.
He quickly drew his hands away, a look of hurt scetched on his face. You look away ashamed. Silence passes, until it irritates you. "I'm...I'm fine Arthur. Just had a bad dream." you say, forcing a smile and grabbed his hand; squeezing it affectionately. His eyes soften, and he pulls you into an embrace, kissing your forehead. He takes your face in his hands, and looks you deeply in the eyes. "_____ if something is bothering you, you know you can talk to me. Right?" He says.
You nod burying your face in his chest, taking in his scent. He let's go and kisses your cheek. You plaster a smile on your face and watch him get up and start towards the door. He suddenly stops at the door way, glancing back at you. "I might be a little late, coming home from today's meeting." He says.
You nod, climbing out of bed to walk him outside. "Come back safely okay?" you say grabbing his coat sleeve. You look up, gazing worrily at him. I promise I'll come back safely." He says, wrapping you in a hug. "Okay, I love you." You pull him into a sweet kiss, which he happily returned. "I love you more." He replies. You wave as he walks down the pathway to his car, and drives down the street. You huff. you were now alone, the exact thing you hated. "Well now what do I do?" you sighed.
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You sigh, it has been 3 hours since he left and without him there they kept coming back, the nighmares. The blood. The agonizing pain-filled screams that filled your head. You couldn't take being alone, it was getting worse day by day. Sometimes it would lead you to think about killing yourself, but you were to much of a coward to try to.
Suddenly a pain shoots through your head. You grip the sides of your head with your hands, falling to your knees. 'My pills...' You walk to the bathroom, staggering almost. You throw open the medicine cabinet and pull out a small orange bottle. You pop open the top and shove two in your mouth. Eventually the pain dies out, and you take in a shaky breath.
You place the bottle back in the medicine cabinet and place both your hands on each end of the sink. You stare into the drain hole, watching the dark void leading down to something you didn't know, but was sure it had an ending. That was something you didn't know, if you had an ending. But how could you figure that out if you didn't even have a beginning.
You sigh and push your hair to the side of your neck. You pinch the bridge of your nose and rub your eyes. Once you open them you're looking into the mirror. You stared at the nape of your neck. You narrow your eyes, at it, you hated it, it ruined your life; it's the reason your like this. Those three numbers: 134 imprinted on your skin.
