Invisible 2 (H.S. AU)

Chapter 15

Victoria's P.O.V:

I didn't know what to make of what Harry said. Did it really bother him that much that I wouldn't sleep with him?

I was insecure about myself and my body. I was worried he was just using me. I was worried that he wouldn't like what he saw when he saw it or the fact that I didn't know what I was doing when it came to all of the stuff.

I got dressed and walked downstairs. Harry was sulking by the door and Paige and Zayn were on the couch looking very confused.

"Thanks for letting me stay here." I smiled to Zayn.

"No problem, anytime." He smiled back.

"No. Not anytime. Hopefully never again." Harry said, coming up from behind me and making me jump.

"Sure, sure." Zayn said rolling his eyes. "Have fun you two."

"Come on let's go." Harry said, tugging on my elbow and leading me out the door.

"What was that all about?" I asked him as we got in the car.

"Oh, nothing." He shrugged, but I could tell he was beyond annoyed.

"What." I asked flatly, wanting to get to the bottom of this.

"Not here, I don't want to get into it before we even get back to my place." He said, whipping out of the driveway, not bothering to look at me.

I remained quiet. I couldn't help knowing he was right.

***

The ride to his house was a quiet one. I had a feeling it was better that way.

When we made it up the elevator and into his apartment, he turned to me and the hollowness in his eyes was enough to make me shutter.

"What?" I asked, so confused about all of this.

"Why did you spend the night at his house?" He asked.

"He offered and I didn't really have much of a choice." I said.

"You didn't have a choice!?" I yelled. "You had a choice!You always have a choice! If he asked you to have sex would you think you didn't have a choice?"

"What are you talking about?!" Does he think I cheated on him?

"I don't know I'm just so mad. I hate that you spent the night over there. You won't even spend the night with me."

"So you accuse me of cheating on you?!" I yelled.

"I didn't do that! I just said if he asked you to have sex with him, would you think you didn't have a choice."

He stood there fuming and breathing really heavy and something about his instant mood change stopped me from spitting whatever insult I had at him. I felt the room change and he seemed to shrink down.

"I- I just don't like that you were over there. I know you would never do anything to hurt me like that. I know he wouldn't either."

I sighed. "Baby come here," I opened my arms for him and he walked to me. I got a thrill as he settled himself in my hug. I felt in control and I loved it.

"I'm sorry I spent the night there, I really didn't want to.But I didn't want to explain to my Mom why I was home early and I felt bad for asking Paige to go to her house when I knew she wanted to sleep with Zayn."

Harry seemed very uncomfortable with me having my arms around him, so e squirmed out of my embrace and wrapped his arms around me instead, pulling my to sit back on the couch. I tucked my feet up next to me and nuzzled into his comfortable embrace.

"I know. I'm sorry for yelling. But I need to know why you won't spend the night over here. What's the problem?" He asked.

I froze. I had heard him asking this question a million times and I had been conveniently avoiding it.

"It's.... uh..... it's hard to explain." I stuttered.

"Baby, you can tell me. It's okay." He soothed, sensing my discomfort.

"It just seems so.... Intimate. I have issues with relationships... You know I've never been in one." I admitted sheepishly.

"I know. I've never realized how hard this transition might be for you.... Hmmm." He said.

"I'm not used to people liking me at all. Like even as a person in general, can you imagine how hard it is for me to accept that you like me enough to date me?  I've barely had friends my whole high school career, let alone a boyfriend." I said. "I have alot of mental barriers to get over."

"I never considered that..." He said. "I'm sorry."

The other reason that I didn't want to spend the night with him was stuck in the back of my throat. I wasn't sure if I should say it or not.

I also didn't want to spend the night with him was because I was worried he would ask me for sex, or something that I wasn't ready for. What if he tried to force me into something I didn't want? I doubted he would ever try to rape me or anything like that, but if he wanted something and I didn't want to give it to him, I would be stuck here with him the whole night. The thought of being trapped here brought me anxiety.

I wasn't ready for him to see my body yet. Naked at least,obviously, he had seen my body with clothes on, but I wasn't ready to watch his eyes look over me in judgement. What if it was a bad judgment? What if he didn't like what he saw and I turned him off instead of on? What if he saw me,got up and was just like 'never mind?' How embarrassing would that be?

I couldn't even imagine that embarrassment.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked me suddenly.

"Nothing." I lied.

"Oh, you're thinking about something." He said.

"No, I'm really not." I sat up, trying to convince him.

"Well how about we try something?" He asked.

My heart stopped. Fuck what was he going to say?

"Okay..?" I said nervously.

"I'm exhausted since I didn't get much sleep last night, how about we do a trial run and take a nap? It's not you spending the night, but I still get to wrap my arms around you while I sleep." He said.

That didn't sound like an awful idea..... I was tired since I didn't sleep that much either. And the thought of sleeping next to him sounded more appealing then it did before, just the sex part didn't sound great.

"Okay." I agreed.

"Cool." He said, "Come on."

He took my hand and led me into his bedroom. I couldn't help my heart beating a little faster as he opened the door.

He had a nice, simple room. A decently sized blue room, with two small windows on one wall. Beneath the windows was a huge, unmade bed.Clothes were littered on the floor, and spilling out of the dresser but they all seemed to fit in the setting.

Harry crawled onto the bed and laid down, opening his arms for me. My heart was still beating fast, but despite my fears, I climbed into bed with him.

He threw a blanket over us and wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest.

The longer we laid there, the more my fears subsided. Soon I heard him snoring lightly in my ear.

I was surprised, but happy. After a few minutes, I felt myself slowly drifting to sleep.