Thoughts and Random Things

Minion Tits and Burrito Ass

Had to remove this post from the site due to an outraged mom. Laughable. Anyway, enjoy

I'm just ending my second week at LongJorts, and all I have to say is that I love love love it! I became really close to one of my teachers, Mr. Meem. He held me after class one day and we were the only ones left in there as all the other students left. Meem seductively told me to take off my shirt and bra. "Anything for you, Mr. Meem," I cooed as I removed my clothing, letting it fall to the ground. He bent down so that his face was directly eye-level with my tatas. Then, he started staring that them. Glaring at them. He was staring at my tatas so hard that they started to grow eyes where the nippy nappies once were. My boob eyes stared right back at Mr. Meem. "I knew you were special," He said to me. "Only a certain brand of people can grow eyes on their boobley-dooblies." He began to rummage through his desk draws, eventually pulling out two one-eyed goggles. He put one goggle on the left boob eye and the other on my right boob eye. "There," he said after he had secured the goggles. "Those are so your boob eyes will stay protected once and for all, so no person or thing can harm them. You're special, Catie. You truly are."

I looked down at my tiddies. They stared right back up at me. "They look like minions," I told Mr. Meem. He chuckled lightly. "Of course they do," he said, laughing as he left the room, leaving me in the empty classroom to reflect on my newfound body parts.

Days later...

Mr. Meem had apparently asked Headmaster Blowjob to call an assembly. After Headmaster Blowjob gave his speech, he had Mr. Meem come up to talk about what this assembly was celebrating: me.

"Ladies and gentlememes," Meem began, clearing his throat. "We are gathered here today to celebrate someone special. Someone with minion tits." The crowd all gasped and began to murmur.

"We haven't had an incidence of minion tits in 30 years!" yelled someone from the audience. It was Mrs. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), who was elderly and had clearly worked at the school for at least fifty years.

"I'm aware of that, Mrs ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)," replied Mr. Meem. "But it's about time we found someone else with minion tits; and we did. Would Catie Catbowtie come up to the stage please?"

As I walked up to the stage, people shot surprised glances at me, and sneakily whispered to the people next to them. All their focus was on my rack. I bet they were wondering if there were really minion tits under dat shirt of mine.

I stepped up to the stage and stood next to Mr. Meem. "You'll be okay. I'm so proud of you," he whispered to me. He then put his face back up to the microphone. "Catie, please do us the honor of showing us your minion tits!"

I lifted up my shirt and flashed the audience. I heard gasps and mutters mixed in with cheers and applause. This is really happening, I told myself. 72 hours ago I had no idea of the existence of minion tits, but right then, I was proud to have minion eyes stuck to the front of my titter tatters.

"Catie," Mr. Meem told me, looking deep into my sparkling eyes. "For most things like this, LongJorts gives you a medal or certificate. But your minion tits are so special that we're going to give you something much more valuable: a burrito."

I cocked my head in confusion. "A burrito? That's it- that's my special reward?"
A single tear dropped from Meem's eye. "Not just any burrito," He responded. "An ass burrito."

Suddenly, two custodians who were apparently hiding backstage jumped out from behind the curtains. Before I could even react to the jumpscare, the custodians yanked my pants and undies down, stole them from me, and scurried back behind the curtains, leaving my ass hanging out for everyone to see.

"Mr. Meem!" I yelled in surprise. "What was that?"

He looked off into the distance, speaking half to me and half to the microphone. "The ceremonial Removal of the Pants™." He began fully speaking into the mic again. "And now, LongJorts University of Sexicraft and Thuggery bestows upon Catie Catbowtie the official Ass Burrito, as a respectful recognition and celebration of her Minion Tits!" The custodians scampered back out from behind the backstage curtains, each carrying one end of a rather large beef-and-bean burrito. They then each looked me in the eye and shook my hand before shoving the burrito up my bootyhole. "YOWZA," I yelled out from the pain of the burrito. But soon enough the pain dissolved into fulfilling sense of satisfaction. I had done it. I had made the school proud.

Mr. Meem then began stroking the half of the burrito that was sticking out of my ass. He was speaking as he stroked, as if he were blessing it. "O wise burrito, o soft burrito, o sack of beans and meat, protect the possessor of the anus you proudly lay inside, and forever revere her minion breasts; amen." As he finished saying the sentiment, I felt the burrito swell inside me, as if it were promising to carry out Mr. Meem's request. I was so honored to know I was worthy of this beautiful burrito inside me, and these absolutely gorgeous goggles for my boob eyes. My tits became minion tits that day, my ass became a burrito ass that day, and I became a changed woman that day.

I'm just ending my second week at LongJorts, and I'm ready to face the upcoming challenges, obstacles, and memes of the rest of my time at LongJorts. I know that my minion tits and burrito ass will help me get through it all.