Tutor- Mashton

chapter eighteen

Michael's pov

What?! No! He couldn't! I knew he had a rough past but....I couldn't help but get those thoughts out of my head and feel my stomach curl at the thought of losing him. I might not be in love with the guy but I care about him,I do. So very fucking much.

I decided to go check on him since he was starting to take a really long time on just to change his clothes. I walked up the stairs two steps at a time until I reached the top, I walked slowly over to Ashton's door and put my hand on the handle, I didn't want to knock because I kinda did want to see the boy without a shirt, not because I liked him no no no! I just wanted to see how much weight he had lost! Yes that's it, that's why!
I pulled the handle down and opened the door to see a shirtless Ashton standing in front of a full body mirror pulling his very little amount of skin from his stomach and tears stained down his cheeks, muttering insults to himself. I was so shocked and safe to safe my heart cracked, seeing the sight of him, he was much thinner than I thought.

He looked like a doll just standing there. His face quickly turned to me exposing his puffy, red eyes and the tears rolling down his face and I could almost completely see his ribcage. He quickly reached over to his bed and grabbed a T-shirt and pull it over his head. "Michael!" He shouted, making me snap out of my thoughts, I walked over to the crying boy and wrapped my arms around him. Speechless. I felt myself being really careful whenever I touched him, scared of breaking him like the porcelain doll he was. At first he seemed like he tried to push me away but he gave up and leaned his head on my chest and just crying much harder. Just the thought or sight of Ashton being sad or just feeling down hurt me. The fact that he tried to die, I felt a tear roll down my cheek but quickly wiped it away with my hand because there was no way I was not going to cry in front of him. Ashton moved his head up to looked at me without pulling back. "Mikey? Are you crying?" "Shhh baby. No, no I'm not crying." I placed my hand on his head and pushed it back to my chest, my face turned red when I realised my voice had cracked at the end of the sentence, making it clear that I was holding in a cry.

I watched as Ashton slowly removed his arms from around my waist to hang down at the side of his body. He had already broken out of the hug, so I sat down at the side of his bed placing my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands, biting my lip in an attempt to not cry. Ashton sat down beside me and placed his arm around my shoulders while leaning his head on my side, "It's okay Michael.. Everyone cries sometimes." I looked up from my hands, not at Ashton but up the ceiling and tried to blink away my tears but failed, "A-Ashton I-I think.. I-I think.." He looked at me with concerned eyes, "What is Michael? You can tell me anything" I really wanted to tell him what I felt, there and then but I couldn't because I wasn't really sure what I did feel but one thing was sure I did feel something for him. The butterflies I felt whenever I saw him walking towards me or whenever he was near or even when he hugged me, it must all have meant something. He had already confirmed he had feelings for me. But I didn't want to hurt him by doing something stupid and just ruin everything.

Everything that was happening confused my brain. "Michael?"" Huh?" "What did you wanna tell me?" Ashton looked at me with soft eyes. How?! How can you look so innocent and cute like him?! "Oh...eh..I-I ehrm..just ehh I think like maybe ehh..no nothing just forget it!" I felt my cheeks burn. I didn't know what to tell him. Should I stop confusing myself and maybe break his heart or just let it be so I didn't hurt him AGAIN!, When I put it that way the second option definitely sounded like the best option but even though one of us would get hurt. "I-Ashton" ,his eyes didn't leave my face, he just looked at me with the same soft puppy eyes not knowing himself how cute he looked, I twisted my head to the side and looked into his eyes, just wanted to sit here and stare into those eyes for the rest of our lives, how they held so many negative emotions but a hint of glint hidden inside. I placed my hand on each of his cheeks cupping them in my hands, without controlling myself I slowly leaned my face closer to his and gently placed my lips on his with them barely touching for a couple of seconds before Ashton pulled away, his face still in my hands. "No Michael..'m not going through with this again.." He didn't seem angry just sad he leaned his head to the side without getting out of my grip, "Ashton, I-I'm not gonna- I think I might have f-feelings for Erm for you." My hands dropped down to my lap. I took my eyes away from his face and looked down at my lap. "Michael please don't say that if you don't m-" "I do Ashton! I do mean it and I just, I can't I just-" I was cut off by Ashton's lips being placed on mine, It just felt right. Everything was just perfect. This was how things were meant to be,Just me, Ashton and no worries about anythi-

"Get your hands of my brother!" Someone shouted and pulled me and ash apart. Calling Ashton his brother I knew it was Chase, I felt my body being ripped up from the bed and harshly being pushed into a hard surface which I assume was the wall "Chase no!" Ashton shouted at Chase who was holding me up to the wall at the neck of my shirt, in the way how I was to Ashton..the first time I came over. Luckily as soon as Ashton spoke, Chase let go of me and looked over to Ashton. He was sitting at the bed with his head in his knees, holding them tight to his chest. Chase walked over to Ashton and sat down beside him. "I think I'm gonna leave now. Just call me later okay ash?" I didn't wait for Ashton to reply just got all my stuff and walked down to get my shoes,And out of all the people I had to see there I met Ashton's mother. "Oh ehm, sorry hi who are you?" His mum looked at me with a confused look. Her eyes. Her eyes reminded me of Ashton. His beautiful eyes. I put down all my things and put out my hand. "Hi I'm Michael. Clifford." I smiled as she grabbed my hand and shook it. "Oh nice to meet you Michael. I've heard all about you" I was about to tell her how sorry I was but as soon as I opened my mouth I heard
" Michael!" being yelled from behind making my head turn, Chase was standing right behind me. "Go sit at the sofa!" "What??" I looked at Chase who now was pointing at the sofa.

I let out a sigh and walked over to the black leather sofa and saw Ashton sitting there all the way up in the corner of the sofa. I walked over and sat down beside him putting both arms around him, You're such a perfect size" I whispered in his ear, "No I'm not. I'm too fat" I heard him whisper back "No you're not Ashton, You're not fat at all, if anything, you are too skinny but you're still the most perfect person I've ever met,don't tell yourself anything different" Ashton didn't move at all just sat crumbled up like a ball in my arms, My arms, As soon as I heard someone cough in front of us I removed my arms and sat up normally, Ashton on the other hand didn't move at all, just kept into my side.

Chase and Mrs. Irwin sat down at the couch on the opposite side of me and ash,His mum looker over at Ashton with a disappointed look, "Ashton-" Chase started but was cut of by his mom. "No. Chase you can leave." "But-" "no buts! You will make this worse, go to your room!" "Fine!" Chase said and left the room, leaving me alone with Ashton and his mum.

"What is going on between with you two?" His mum looked between me and Ashton. I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off by Ashton. "We only kissed mum. It was nothing.." When he spoke my heart stopped pounding in my chest,I felt my eyes tear up, is he being serious?!, it didn't it mean anything to him?! "Only kissed?" She looked at me and raised her eyebrows asking me to confirm which I did with a silent nod.

"Ashton..you're not...you're not dating are you?" Ashton looked up from his knees and looked at his mum. "You would know if you actually were around and cares about my life! You only started caring again because you saw me in that state! If you weren't there you would still treat me like I don't exist!" Ashton shouted and stood up and quickly running out of the house.

I quickly got up and ran after him. I got outside to look for Ashton. And I did. He was standing at the bus station waiting. I got in my car and drove over to him. "Get in." I ordered him, Which he did, without questioning anything he sat in the passenger seat beside me, Not having many other places to go I took him over to my house. The drive was silent but surprisingly not really awkward after what had just happened, I glanced at Ashton just looked out the window the whole time, making me mentally sigh, I really thought he was getting better but in reality it is just getting worse.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hola, this was done by kitty and I hope you enjoyed. I love y'all and stay safe xoxo