Tutor- Mashton

chapter twenty eight

Ashton's pov

As soon as I stepped into my room, I felt my body fall down to the ground and crumbled into a ball,letting the tears run down my face. All I just wanted to do was die.There and then, just end my life. After ten minutes I managed to get up on my feet, still crying like a child. I hadn't been this broken since my dad left, I looked around my room and grabbed my phone as soon as I saw it, I took off the cover and took out the razor blade I had behind it, I quickly removed all my bracelets and looked at my already red sore skin, I placed the blade on my wrist and dragged it over, I saw the blood run down my hand but continued to cut. I looked at my arm covered in cuts. I was running out of space on my arm but than I remembered seeing someone who had scars on their thighs which made me pull down my pants and start to slide the blade across my thigh. I felt so much guilt in every cut that was made because it made me think of Calum. I soon heard a knock on my door making me quickly hid the blade in between some books I had on my desk and wiped away all the blood that was on the floor,my thigh and arm before pulling my pants back up and sleeve back down, one of the worst things I could have done in this moment was scream but I had to, I screamed out in pain when the jeans was pulled over my thighs. The person behind the door knock one more time before talking. And that's when I realized it wasn't my mum nor chase or Calum I heard the voice of a tall red haired boy. "A-ash?" His voice was soft and sore, Was he here to beat me up? I got out the jeans and put on some sweats quickly and I wiped away my tears and looked at myself, My eyes were red and puffy due to all the crying. "Ashton! Ashton answer me I-I'm getting worried over here!" His voice was filled with pain and probably tears rolling down his cheeks, "Why the fuck would you care?!" I shouted through gritted teeth. I was more angry now than I was sad,I leaned my forehead head on the inside of the door, trying to calm myself down "A-ash just let me in! I'll explain it all!" "I already know....it was all a dare! You never liked me! And you never will!" I shouted yet again and found myself punching the door before walking away back to sit on my bed."Ashton! Please let me explain! I do care! I do and I-I...." "You what Michael?! You fucking hate me don't you?!" "No ash....I- I love you..." As much as I wanted to think he meant it. I didn't. It was probably all another dare, "Stop fuck lying! You're breaking me Michael!" And than it had to happen, the tears, they rolled down my cheeks. "Ashton Fletcher Irwin let me in this door before I fucking punch it down myself!" I slowly got up went over to the door and unlocked the door slowly.Ashton's pov
As soon as I stepped in the door and entered my room, I felt my body hit the ground and I crumbled up to a ball letting the tears run down my face. All I just wanted to do was die! There and then, just end my life. After ten minutes I managed to get up on my feet, still crying like a child. I hadn't been this broken since my dad left. I looked around my room and grabbed my phone as soon as I saw it. I took of the cover and took out the razor blade I had behind it. I quickly removed all my bracelets and looked at my already red sore skin. I placed the blade on my wrist and dragged it over. I saw the blood run down my hand but continued to cut. I looked at my arm covered in cuts. I was running out of space on my arm but than I remembered seeing someone who had scars on their thighs with made me pull down my pants and start to slide the blade across my thigh. I felt so much guilt in every cut that was made cause it made me think of Calum. I heard a knock on my door. I quickly hid the blade in between some books I had on my desk and wiped away all the blood that was on the floor,my thigh and arm before pulling my pants back up. And that was one of the worst things I could have done. I screamed out in pain when the jeans was pulled over my thighs. The person behind the door knock one more time before talking. And that's when I realized it wasn't my mum nor chase or Calum I heard the voice of a tall red haired boy. "A-ash?" His voice was soft and sore. Was he here to beat me up? I got out the jeans and put on some sweats. I wiped away my tears and looked at myself. My eyes were red and puffy due to all the crying. "Ashton! Ashton answer me I-I'm getting worried over here!" His voice was filled with pain and tears. "Why the fuck would you care?!" I got trough my teeth. I was more angry now than I was sad. I leaned my forehead head on the inside of the door. "A-ash just let me in! I'll explain it all!" "I already know....it was all a dare! You never liked me! And you never will!!!" I found my self punching the door before walking away back to sit on my bed, "Ashton! Please let me explain! I do care! I do and I-I...." "You what Michael?! You fucking hate me don't you?!" "No ash....I- I love you..." As much as I wanted to think he meant it. I didn't. It was probably all another dare. "Stop fuck lying! You're breaking me Michael!" "Ashton Fletcher Irwin let me in this door before I fucking punch it down myself!" I slowly got up went over to the door and unlocked the door slowly. I walked a few steps back and just stared at the door before watching it open revealing a sad Michael. I didn't get to think much more before I was dragged into a hug, I didn't hug back, just stood there and let him hug me hoping that this all would be over soon. That my life would just end. I was standing still before I felt something hit my thigh making me step back and cry out in pain, I fell down to the floor holding onto my thigh, I felt Michael gaze glued and I looked at him back, making our eye contact touch and I watched him sitting on the floor with me, "A-ash I-I'm so so sorry I didn't mean the bag to hit you!" I looked up at Michael, he looked at me with a confused look since the bag barely touched my thigh but it still hurt like a motherfucker. I just shook my head before pulling down the sweats to my knees, Michael let out a gasp when I showed him my red and swollen thigh. "A-Ash is this B-" "no it's not because of you!" "Oh?.. but I'm still really sorry and I promise I'll explain later if you want and if you forgive me I'd love to maybe-" "no Michael!" I cut him off when I realized what I had to do. "No ash I promise I won't ever-" "Michael! I-I....I'm moving to America with Chase.." My whole body twisted at the thought of leaving Michael and Calum and my mom, But all I wanted was a new start, a start where I wouldn't be judged for who I am, I just wanted to get out of this hell.

"W-when are you leaving?" His voice was soft and quite cute actually.,I don't know I have to talk to chase and mom but I'll tell you when I know...." I Felt so bad for the boy, He had literally just said he loved me and I had just rejected him. I lifted myself of the floor and stood up and quickly pulled my sweats up,I saw how sad he looked, I had never seen Michael like this and it definitely made me feel really bad, so bad.I offered him my hand which he gladly accept and and got up. I pulled him closer to me and cupped his cheeks, "Michael what's wrong?" He tried his hardest to avoid eye contact with me but I moved his face with my hands looking him dead in the eye, His beautiful green eyes who were normally full of sparkles and happiness, were now gray looking and red and puffy, "Well...I I don't wanna be at home right now.." "And why's that?" By just looking at him I could see that he really had problems. "My dad's been drinking and my mom is just crying" I stood on the tip of my toes and bent his head to kiss his forehead. "It's okay Mikey..You can stay here for the night if you want." I felt his arms secure themselves around my waist and his head in the crock of my neck nodding in response, "Please don't leave me Ashton..." He sobbed into my neck. "I won't Promise.." I said back softly, not even knowing if I could myself, but for the sake of Michael, I really hope so

------------------------------------------------------------------ WELL ABOUT TIME EMMA. sowwy guys, haven't updated in a bit, been pretty busy and had some shit going on. Anyway this chapter was done by Kitty and I hope you enjoyed. I love y'all and stay safe xoxo