Raising Jesse

make up

Joels p.o.v

I stood there

Luciis skin was extremely pale

Her lips into a forced smile

Her eyes were baggy

And she seemed oddly skinny

Her eyes were red as if shed been crying

Jess can you take joan lucii said

Jesse took him and left

I went up to lucii who was looking down at the floor

I held her face a tear fell out of her eye

Why are you crying ? I said brushed off the tear with my thumb

I cant she said

What do you mean i looked into her teary eyes

I cant do this joel ! I cant forget ! I cant sleep im tired i just wanna die she sobbed

I tensed when she said she wanted to die

I pulled her into a hug

No lucii you dont wanna die promise me you wont try to ...

I lost my words

My eyes filled with tears

amanda i said

The girl who had cheated on me , but alao the girl i loved alot
Her smile , her bubbly attitude , the way her smile tilted a bit when she smiled and he way her eyes sparkeled when she had an idea ,

I looked back at the girl in front of me not realizing what id said out loud

Joel .... her voice cracked

Im not her ! just go away leave me ! said pushing me out

The maid said shed supervise the baby

I left and droped jesse off with erick and bere they said they wouldnt mind

I went to yoyos

My eyes were red af dam ,

Hey pota- yoyo noticed i wasnt in the most brightest mood

Joel what the fuck happened to you ! Why are you crying ?!?

I called her amanda yoyo ! I fucked everything up !

We went inside

I just finished talking with her , shes gonna be fine he said

I dont think so i muttered

Joel im sure shes gonna be fine promise

How okay look at the state i left her in she pushed me out of her room i just wanna hold her and make her feel safe but how can i do that when every single day i think of amanda !

Joel as fucked up as this sounds LET GO OF AMANDA ! dont you realize the mother of your son is going through a rough patch in her life you need to be with her and hold her because you never know maybe when you realize your over amanda it could be late ,

Ok i said leaving yoyos house

I went to my house and took a shower i realized she did need me ,

I provoked her and she lashed out .

I drove as fast as i could to her house , when i got there i was let in since they knew i was her boyfreind .

I jogged up to her room and went inside where i found lucii unconious ,

Lucii i tried shaking her awake

I called a doctor he said that she passed out due to the lack of sleep and the lack of eating .

i ended up sleeping right beside her bed on a chair ,

It wasnt until i felt a soft hand on my cheek

I opened my eyes to see my beautiful girlfriend

Lucii i said

She removed her hand really fast

Lucii im sorry this is all my fault , i am responsible for messing things up , i provoked you if i had been more caring about you i wouldnt have started the fight i screwed everything up i like you and id say it a million times more , i want to marry you i want to wake up with you every morning , and have a family with you but u guess i fucked up my chanc-

Lucii cut me off with a kiss

Joel she said

Y - y - you said you wanted to marry me

I smiled

Yes i did i said ,

i couldnt believe it felt my self blush for the first time

Lets go get somthing to eat yea ?

She nodded her head we both ate and watched movies in her living room pretty soon she had fallen asleep i carried her bridal style to her room .

When i placed her on her bed i kissed her lips before i left thats when she tugged my arm asking me to stay i slipped into bed with her .

She slept calmly

She hugged me and i played with her soft hair ,

Her mascara dried up on her cheeks where she had cried , the bags on her eyes couldnt make her look bad because her beauty was just so strong that nothing could make her look bad .

She slept there looking peaceful , looking flawless like always , this was the girl who had me wrapped around her finger perfectly .

I dont ever wanna leave her side ,

Maybe yoyos right , its time for me to move on ,

Because i know who my heart truly belongs to

It belongs to lucii and im gonna show her .