I woke up and wonho wasn't there I started to panic "wonho" I called out with a scared tone "I'm here it's okay" he said coming to my bed and holding me in his arms
He picked me up and brought me to the couch "I made you food and you have to take your medicine" he said and I nod
I guess I was feeling a bit better today so that's good but still wasn't 100% either
I ate the food he made I mean he always make me food I can't make food it tastes bad
Then I took my medicine "come lay with me I want your touch" I said and he laid down and put me on top of him so I wrapped myself around him and placed my head on his chest
"You're really warm" I said "and you're really cold are you okay?" He asked "oh yeah I'm fine as long as you keep me warm" I said and he kissed my head
"Get better soon my love" he said and I wiggled my head into the crook of his neck
It's now been a week and I'm still really sick but I'm trying to hid it the best I could for wonho and my dad's sake I don't want them to worry
I'm going to the doctors today so I can see whats wrong with me because it's been a month since I've been really sick
"Hi hyungwon can you tell me why you are here today?" The doctor asked "well I've been sick lately and the other day I had a seizure" I said
"Okay can you tell me any other symptoms you've been having?" He asked "well I've been getting nose bleeds my skin complexion is really pale I've been getting bruises easily but I figured that was from soccer I've also been vomiting a lot and I've lost some weight" I said
"Okay well we are going to take some blood and then do a scanning on you to see if everything is okay the tests results will be here within a week or less so we will call you and tell you to come in when we get them" he said
I did the tests and then I was free to go home I'm not telling wonho or my dad that I went because they think I'm fine but I think wonho suspects something which isn't probably good that I'm keeping a secret from him
***
"Ah hyungwon thank you for coming in today" the doctor said and I nod "so your test results came in" he started "well it would seem you have something called acute myeloid leukemia now the types of cells found in this cancer are called blasts and they are much bigger then normal white blood cells and have more trouble going through tiny blood vessels if the blast count gets too high these cells can clog up blood vessels and put you in serious danger" he said
That's a lot of information to take in..."well since it's an acute leukemia there are chances for you to recover and go into remission but it's not for certain you will have to have chemo done and you can call us at anytime when you want to start chemo if you want to" the doctor said
"Uhm thank you sir can I go home?" I asked "yes you can go home now please give us a call there's still a chance you can get rid of it" he said
I practically ran home well tried because I was very weak on the way home I started crying my eyes out
"I'm not going to school tomorrow" I said crying "woah son what's the matter calm down" he said I fell on the floor in defeat "Dad..." I said
"Did wonho break up with you" he asked "ani" I said "then what's wrong I'm worried right now" he said "Appa I'm sick" I said "you got your cold back again I knew you still looked sick" he said
"No Dad that sickness never went away..." I said "you don't have to cry about son" he said "no Dad I went to the doctor last week and they did some tests and scanning on me and I-I-I just got the results back" I cried even more
"What were the results hyungwon" he said "I I I have acute myeloid leukemia" I cried louder he froze and started crying
That's the first time I've seen my father cry since my mothers death which was god knows how many years ago that was...I remember...my mother fighting up till her very last breath she had cancer I don't recall which type I think she had brain cancer I don't remember since I was only 10 and I don't want to ask my father because it's still too early to ask
My father already lost one person to cancer he can't lose another one to it he just hugged me while still on the floor
"So is this why you've been sick" he said "yeah" I said "we are going to figure this out" he said "Dad...how am I going to tell him" I asked "well it's up to you if you want to tell him straight away or not tell him for a while but you will eventually just have to come clean" he said
"Can you keep this a secret for a while" I asked "yeah just promise me you'll stick around for a while" he said "I'll try my best Dad" I said
I was at school today trying to keep my cool and not let anyone see that something was wrong with me
I couldn't even look wonho in the eyes without wanting to cry...why me? Why now? Just when my life is starting to get good
