To love you | Malum

Ch. 12 - Homecoming + Feelings

Michael + Ch. 12 - Homecoming + Feelings

Daryl thought it would be funny to take me shopping for a nice, fancy-yet-casual outfit for homecoming, to which I denied the entire time. I wasn't interested in going to a dance where people would sweat off their makeup, cologne and perfume, or where the only thing that mattered in a moment of time was grinding on the thighs of some random stranger they'll never talk to again in their life. That wasn't me, and I didn't want it to be me, because it was the kind of event that couples would attend when they wanted a night out and tried to avoid their parents lectures about how it wasn't appropriate for them to go anywhere else. It was for people like Luke and Calum - popular, where everybody wanted to be around them because they were fun and intoxicated on some sort of vodka that I could only wish I had inside of me instead of this feeling of dread, but not everybody gets what they want. And in this case, I get nothing.

"I personally think you should go with the tux, it suits you," Daryl commented, hands roaming through the rackets as I anxiously sat in my wheelchair, waiting for somebody from school to come in and mock me for shopping in a cheap store that clearly was affordable for those who didn't have a lot of money. I didn't want the tuxedo, specifically because I wasn't interested in attending the dance, and this money could have gone to more important things - like the rent, or our next meal.

"I'd rather just stay in and watch a couple of movies," I whined, head pounding underneath the ceiling lights and projections, the warm aroma making me nauseous as everything else but my cheeks felt cold. This wasn't fun, I wasn't fun. "I just want to have a marathon of my favorite movies, with popcorn and pizza, okay?"

I watched as my father sighed and spun around from the racket with decent looking attire laying flat against his arms. "Look, Michael, I know that dances aren't your thing, and they never have been, but it's your last year of high school and I want you to make the most out of it."

"Who's to say I'm not?" I laughed, but we both knew the answer to the question. I was possibly having the worst time of my life so far, aside from sophomore year, when they sent me flying down the wall. Life was rough. "Okay, you're right, but I don't have any friends or a date and-"

"So go alone," Daryl commented as if going alone meant nothing, as if I wouldn't get mocked for weeks upon weeks for showing up in a wheelchair without somebody to hang out with me, as if it didn't really matter. It did matter, because I was tired of looking like the biggest loser inside of Pleine, – it wasn't me. I wanted to be somebody other than boring old Michael Clifford, but I couldn't be. What was the point of showing up to a dance if you couldn't physically move your legs? Absolutely nothing.

"I don't want to go, so please don't make me go."

"I'm sorry, but you're going. I already paid for your homecoming ticket, now stop whining," Daryl stated with an eye roll as he wheeled me into one of the changing rooms. (Kind of awkward that he always has to help me change.) "Now, do you like the black or white shirt better?"

"Black."

Hours had passed from picking out an outfit when I finally came to the conclusion that dressing the part didn't really matter. Nobody would notice me, anyway. So I went with the cheapest option - which was just a plain black sleeveless shirt, a pair of skinny jeans that had to be adjusted for my cast, and one black shoe since my cast covered the other foot. I attempted to look somewhat nice, and I wasn't exactly sure why I continued to follow through with it, but maybe it was because I had a feeling that Calum would be there, and he was.