To love you | Malum

Ch. 28 - Road Trips + Champagne

Michael + Ch. 28 - Road Trips + Champagne

I didn't know what to think or expect at seven in the morning, but I did know that I had school, and that the unexpected can happen inside of that building and out. Daryl was working – new construction job out of the city, six hours a day, fifteen dollars an hour, forty five minute drive there and back. I had to start waking myself up again, which wasn't much of a difficulty since I haven't been sleeping well lately, but getting ready was the ultimate struggle; trying to pull a pair of cuffed sweatpants over my cast, sliding a shirt over a damaged spine, trying to eat breakfast with a different hand while trying to figure out how to use the house phone, trying to get ready but failing miserably. I called Daryl, but he didn't pick up, and Ashley was out having a coffee with Ashton Irwin – which I found hard to believe since he did say he didn't want to be the father, nor did he want to help raise the baby. (I only knew this from the sticky note she left on the refrigerator, blue background, words hazel like her eyes, red lipstick on the bottom left corner. She always tried to make things look aesthetic enough for her Instagram feed, though in my opinion, she didn't even need to try. She was already the aesthetic.)

I wheeled towards the cabinets, finding a taped, black box with my hundred dollar champagne bottles – the ones I haven't touched since I associated myself with Calum Hood. I'd say he's a good influence on me, but people think he's the worst, and try to get into his head so they can bring out those vulnerabilities that he tries to hide. I swallowed the flame burning in my throat, and it was hard to breathe without him here. The temptation was unbearable – haunting my past, laughing at me, mocking my every move until I gave in. I was going to drown in champagne until I was drunk. (It was at this point that I didn't care about attending school, or passing this semester despite the fact that I'm leaving two months before it can end. I didn't care about those mocha eyes, or those pretty plump lips either. I only cared about ruining my life, because I didn't have much left of it.)

I grabbed the bottle on impulse, heart racing inside of my chest, mind climbing ladders, fingers shaking, and brought it up to my lips without hesitation — but then the door bell rang before I could get anything down, and I screamed because I was angry, and I wanted to give into my old addiction. I wanted to be like Calum who vaped every once in a while, and smoked cigarettes when everything got bad. I wanted to be like him because he seemed so free, something that I felt the complete opposite of. But I knew that drinking my problems away wouldn't solve anything, and I didn't want to get sent away for underage drinking, so I stopped, and I set myself straight before wheeling myself to the door, only to see Calum Hood standing right in front of it. He is a good influence, he has to be if he's here when I need him the most.

"Don't tell me you were about to down that entire thing," Calum pressed, his fingers molding into the doorway, his eyes never leaving sight of the champagne bottle. "I won't let you do that. It's bad for you."

"You know what's bad for me, Calum?" I laughed, feeling my bones rattle as I leaned against the padding of my wheelchair. "You and your bad habits, and your. . you know what – I'm not arguing with you today. It's bad enough that I'm temped to drink before school starts. I don't need to add any more negativity to my list."

"Actually, you're not going to school," Calum commented, his lips curving lopsided. "I talked to your dad, and you're excused from school for the entire month, Michael."

"No, I'm finishing two weeks before Thanksgiving Break," I said, my heart set on one, and only one thing, staying. "So I don't know what you're thinking. . but I'm going to school to, might I add, spend the day stalking you and staring at you because I love being around you, and I love you." (Saying that felt wrong, forced, almost like I was trying to pretend that we had something here. I knew he was just going to run away again, that our relationship was nonexistent because he didn't want to be with me as long as I'm going to Columbia. I knew that he wouldn't pick the daffodil over the sunflower, or the dandelion over the rose. We were nothing as far as I was concerned, and I hated embracing feelings that wouldn't be returned in the future for an eternity. Eternities don't exist with Calum and I.)