To love you | Malum

Ch. 13 - Trust + Hot Chocolate

Michael + Ch. 13 - Trust + Hot Chocolate

I couldn't get what Calum said to me out of my head, because it was that kind of feeling that I had previously been aching for, and receiving it out of the ordinary pained me for some reason. It was quite obvious that he wasn't happy being in a relationship with Luke, and it made me wonder how he could easily put up that much of an act with a guy who consistently kissed him in public and practically fed him butterflies. Unless there was something going on between them that I didn't know about, I couldn't believe anything other than that he was just saying that because he wasn't getting everything he wanted, in the same way that I wasn't either.

I owed Calum hot chocolate for helping me that night at the movies, and sitting inside of a building and feeling lonesome wasn't on my agenda -- nor was waiting for the brunette to show up twenty minutes later than I was expecting him to, but it meant more than words could explain that he actually bothered to meet up with me in the middle of whatever drama he was dealing with at the moment. I didn't miss the way he awkwardly sat down, before slinging his coat over the edge of the chair. I didn't miss the way he inhaled deeply and gazed up at the ceiling that people somehow managed to paint. I didn't miss the way he started kissing his knuckles, like they were lips that belonged to him. But I did miss the way his fingertips fell to his thighs, him glancing down at them casually as he mouthed words that I couldn't understood.

"I'm sorry for leaving you stranded the other day," Calum muttered under his breath, the midst of the air circulating around us. I leaned further into my wheelchair as I gave him a comforting smile, feeling relieved when he returned what I had been waiting for all morning. "I know you didn't really deserve that, and I should have walked you home because it was cold and you could have gotten sick but I-"

"Calum," I stopped him with an objectified laugh, my shoulders slumping the slightest when he bit down on his lip, making me want to kiss him even more than I wanted to before, "I was fine, and I'm clearly not sick. Why are you worrying so much?"

I watched as the steam from his hot chocolate radiated into the air, his lips wrapping around the mug as he sipped on the warm beverage, only for him to slam the cup down seconds later with a frown. "Burn your tongue?" I questioned, my skin forming goosebumps as brown met green, as we locked in a small embrace of contact and company, but he looked away seconds after, and it made me awfully sad. "Yeah, but I'll be fine."

He reached for the napkin that was dangling off the edge of the table, delicately wiping at the stains decorating his cheeks as he smiled sincerely at me. This boy was beautiful. He was everything. "I hope this isn't too weird for you, since you know how I feel about you." I'm not always this confident, but I was happier than usual today.

"I'm glad you told me," Calum admitted, leaning in closer to the table as his elbows dug into the wooden surface, "I don't like it when people run away from their feelings, or hide them from me, you know? It's not that hard to be honest when you love somebody." (Isn't he hiding his feelings from everyone, though?)

"But -- isn't that exactly what you're doing?" I asked, pressing him further into the conversation without intention, loving the way his cheeks turned a bright crimson red as he looked down at his thighs that were covered by sweats. Why was he so cute?

"I - I've gotten used to hiding how I feel, because it's difficult trying to find people who understand and won't judge you for it."

"I wouldn't ever judge you," I reiterated, hesitantly placing my hand over his. I didn't miss the way his breath hitched in his throat. I didn't miss the way he smiled down at my pale hand before stroking his fingers over it. I didn't miss the way he shut himself down for a moment, before intertwining our fingers. I didn't miss the way he laughed at how embarrassing and awkward this moment was, but I did miss the sound of his heartbeat, and how rapid it was beating when our fingers made contact.