To love you | Malum

Ch. 32 - I Won't Leave You + Maybe The World Is Supposed To Fall Apart

Michael + Ch. 32 - I Won't Leave You + Maybe The World Is Supposed To Fall Apart

I knew the truth about love, and I knew the truth about strong relationships becoming weak when something goes wrong, but I also knew the truth about Calum and I. We've been through a lot already and while the chances of losing him were high, it didn't mean that much. I still had him. I had Calum Hood and nobody else did. (And maybe I was bragging, but I didn't care. Things like this didn't just happen. Getting him was the hardest challenge I've ever had to face and quite possibly the worst, but he's still the best thing that's ever happened to me.)

He came to the hospital with me for my Metatarsal Fracture Therapy, and thankfully, Aurelia was nice enough to let him sit inside of the training room while we pushed for a walking boot. She was always patient with me, and it made me struggle even more because I didn't deserve to have somebody as wonderful as her in my life. I also didn't deserve Calum. "Listen Michael, we need to talk about a couple of things."

I gulped, and Calum looked over at me because he was nervous too, and it was, or at least felt like a beautiful thing because he understood when I was afraid, and I understood when he was afraid, and we could never take anything serious anymore since the only serious thing we know is each other. "T - Things like. . like serious things?"

Aurelia smiled softly which loosened up both of our nerves, and I held my hands behind the back of my wheelchair while Calum held his on his lap, and I wanted to be over there with him, kissing the lines on his forehead and drawing patterns on his hands with my small, stubby fingertips. I wanted him to hold me and tell me that this training would be successful and I wouldn't be in a wheelchair anymore, but I also knew that he couldn't give me that opportunity. "It's not necessarily bad, it's just, I think we need to prepare for the good and the bad."

"I'll take the bad news first." I gulped, knowing that she had something to say because she looked somewhat uneasy, and there was never anything good about coming to the hospital unless you wanted to get better. I still don't know if I do or not. "Just. . hit me with it. I'll be fine. I can handle it."

"The chances of getting you out of that wheelchair are high, and there's a huge possibility that you could be walking again in the upcoming weeks," Aurelia said, going with the opposite of what I said and deciding to deliver the good first since it was always better. "But there isn't much we can do for your Rheumatoid Arthritis. If you don't take your medication, I can't help you."

"I can't afford the medication," I mumbled, and Aurelia looked at me worriedly, and I tried to imagine what it was like before I had things wrong with me, but I couldn't remember anything other than what and who I am right now. "Dad only started working again, Karen wants me to move back in with her in Columbia, which isn't happening, and I don't have a job. I mean, really, who would want me?"

I looked over at Calum, and I heard him mumble I want you, and he knew I was talking about the job sense, but he still had his ways of cheering me up, and I wanted him to know that my love for him was unconditional but it was so hard to form words with this bubble in my throat that never pops. And I kept watching him, ignoring Aurelia's sympathy, and I didn't miss the way he rubbed his thumbs together as if mine was replacing it, and I didn't miss the way his breathing was normal, but it wasn't against my lips, and I didn't miss the way his leather jacket clung to his skin, and he didn't look warm because I wasn't next to him. I wasn't warm either.

"Michael, Rheumatoid Arthritis needs to be taken seriously." Aurelia sighed, and she placed her hand on the back of my wheelchair, and she was cold. I needed Calum's warmth by my side again. "I may not be your doctor, but I sure as hell don't plan on letting you waste your life away in pain when you could be out there doing things that normal people do."