To love you | Malum

Ch. 3 - Football + Pool Table

- Michael
+ Ch. 3 - Football + Pool Table -

Everyone knew that I had secrets. I was as mysterious as I could get, and that's another reason why I was hated and why I was considered boring. Gossip spilled and poured around Pleine within a split second, but I was never the headline. The only title I ever made in this damn school was the 'biggest loser' and it was Pleine's senior prank before everyone graduated. I still don't understand why they made me feel like drowning myself over a stupid prank, but I'll never understand anything that goes on here.

I had secrets - tiny ones and big ones, but I had one that I chose not to tell anyone because I didn't want it to define me. As a person with only one parent, I've grown to have addictions. Certain addictions that involve owning hundred dollar bottles of champagne and drinking them when nobody is awake. It's my own sort of escape, but the issue with it is that it's never enough. I have a stash down in our basement, but I hardly go down there because the last time I rolled myself down our built in ramp, I ran into the wall. That was before I gained control over my wheelchair, though.

Nobody knew what my life was like outside of school. Some assumed I was a comic book nerd, others figured I'd just go home and eat away my feelings, but most didn't really care. I just existed, and half had a problem with it while the other half didn't.

I hated going to a place where I felt like a complete outcast - alone - shadowed into the darkness as though I belonged there without light - sad, and my emotions were hardly ever noticed or concerned for. The only person who actually showed some sort of sympathy for me was Calum, but it's because he cares about everyone and wants the best for others. I wouldn't be surprised if he treated me differently when intoxicated.

Speaking of getting intoxicated, I was finally in gym class, the one area I hated being in most but also enjoyed because Calum's attention was precious, and I overheard Ashton and Calum talking about going to a party after the football game tonight. It was a school night, it'd be hosted at eleven, and the only way you could come was by bringing weed, cigarettes or alcohol. I wasn't interested in attending anyway, but I sort of wanted to see what Calum was like, stumbling after having too many drinks, how he acted - if his personality was flat or full. I was curious and I had plenty of wine and beer bottles that I could bring with me in order to get in. Nobody would know.

"Dude, he's staring at you," Ashton said in the distance, and I was surprised I caught onto what he said so quickly. But surely enough, Calum and his best friend were eyeing me, Ashton showing little to no emotion while Calum had a small smile on his face. A genuine one, that is.

I felt awkward knowing that I was caught staring, that there was no way out of ignoring his softened features, but I still, attempted to turn myself around and roll away, but Calum caught up to me within seconds.

"Whatcha doin?"

My heart was racing, I was craving something, everything, just wanting to feel his hand on my shoulder rather than on the handlebars, just wanted to see his big doe chocolate brown eyes staring into my green ones with a glint of happiness, love even. But chances of that happening were unlikely, and knowing Calum, he'd just get taken away from me by Luke, because that's the norm. I've gotten used to it by now.

"Just sitting here," I reiterated, my voice going flat and emotionless, kind of like Luke's, "I have nothing better to do."