Not Without You {Steve/Bucky Fic} COMPLETED

Chapter Eighteen

Steve was on the verge of breaking down.

He had lost two friends in one week.

Was here so awful that no one could stand to be around him anymore?

Was he so emotionally unstable from having a life from the past and currently attempting to live One in the present that he just drove everyone away?

First Bucky left him.

Steve had begun to completely blame himself for that one.

If I hadn't been such a coward and Just told him how I felt he would still be here, Steve scolded himself.

Then Natasha committed suicide.

He knew that Bucky had ran away, and had a good reason to do so.

But he didn't believe Natasha's suicide.

Yes, he was aware that the Black Widow kept about ninety percent of her real emotions inside, never for the world to see, but he was sure that she wasn't bearing herself up too horribly about her past.

She wouldn't kill herself.

That's why after Nick Fury had told him that Natasha was found a few days ago laying on her apartment floor holding a gun, Steve knew something was wrong.

But he didn't know what and he was at a loss of what to do.

*************

"Stupid, stupid, stupid. " Bucky scolded himself as he walked down the sidewalk.

It was basically the only thing he had been doing for the last two weeks.

Except now, it was raining.

And Bucky was out of money.

And his stomach was growling, reminding him of his mistake of buying a hamburger with his last five dollars last night.

As a plus, he also had a dog that wouldn't leave his side that Bucky had given half of his burger to the night before.

Bucky sat down on a sidewalk bench and put his hands in his head.

He couldn't do it anymore.

He couldn't Just wander around Brooklyn with no plan.

He couldn't just walk around pretending that he knew what he was doing with his life.

He couldn't Just walk around and pretend he wasn't still in love with Steve.

He couldn't.

He couldn't do much of anything without Steve.

The man was just as dependant on his friend now as Steve once had been of him after his mother died and he was consistently ill, too stubborn to take care of himself, so Bucky made his small friend his main priority.

Tears began to make their way down his face, along with the rain droplets from the sky. His hair was soaked and lay plastered to his face and forehead, and his coat was no longer providing him with warmth of any kind.

Scout made a whining noise and curled himself up beneath the bench.

Bucky began to sob harder.

There was no way he could do this.

He had to go back to Steve.

**********
"You need to bring me the death certificate of James Barnes by next week, do you understand? " Agent Zemo asked Sharon Carter.

She nodded. "I understand perfectly. "

"And Steve Rogers must soon follow. " He said in his heavy accent. If he couldn't tear the Avengers apart by the death of their loved ones, he would do it by the death of the Avengers themselves.

"Don't worry about Rogers. After Barnes is dead, he'll more than likely take care of himself. "

Zemo nodded, a smirk playing on his lips. "You do good work, Agent. Just be sure that you do not have another mishap like last time and get caught in the crossfire."

Sharon shook her head. She had a bit of a knack for causing incidents, but not getting away from them soon enough to save herself. "It won't happen again. "

"Very good. " He leaned across the table at which they both sat at and said her a bus ticket. "James Barnes is scheduled to be on this bus in an hour. Get on it and attend to your business about halfway through the trip. Make sure everyone knows that James Barnes, Captain America's dearest friend was on that bus. The rest will take care of itself. "

"Yes, sir. " The woman stood up, bus ticket in hand. "This mission will be successful. "

Zemo smiled. "I have faith in you. "

She smiled in response and exited the room, leaving Zemo in the prison he had been kept in since his first attempt to break the Avengers.

*********

Bucky never did like stealing.

He could lie through his teeth, punch bullies in the face for the sake of a skinny, bloodied Steve passed out in an alleyway back in the forties, and sneak out late at night to go on dates with dames back when he pretended to enjoy that sort of thing, but stealing gave him a gritty feeling that actually boiled in the pit of his stomach, making him nervous.

But he had to get back to Steve somehow.

For the last two hours, he had been wondering around resturaunts, claiming to be looking for somebody, and when no one was paying him any mind, he would quickly, with a horrible feeling wrenching in his gut, swipe a tip that lay on one of the tables intended for a waiter.

Or he would scrounge for change, finding dropped quarters beneath vending machines until he had about five dollars.

Finally, Bucky had enough to get on a bus at least to Providence.

Bucky sat down inside the Gas Station where the bus would soon be arriving at. He began to look around, anticipating the ride back to Steve.

He had tried not to think about all the possible situations that would be awaiting him once he got back to D. C. in fear of causing himself to back out.

Scout was sitting next to the bench beside him, and Bucky smiled, remembering that the lady who helped him get his bus ticket was kind enough to let Scout sit inside and not out in the pouring rain.

He pulled his ticket out of his pocket, and examined it just for good measure.

He then glanced up at the television in the corner of the store which was on the news channel.

Some celebrity that he knew nothing about was pregnant.

Bucky let his eyes wander around the store once again, before turning his attention back to the news channel.

He was jolted out of his calm state and into a confused one as Natasha's face flickered onto the screen.

The television was muted, but Bucky felt his heart tear as he read the caption.

"Avengers ' Black Widow Found Dead By Suicide."