Not Without You {Steve/Bucky Fic} COMPLETED

Chapter Ten

Bucky walled down the dimply lit street, with his head down, backpack slung over his shoulder, and pillow clenched tightly in his hand.

It was quiet in D. C. at night. Only a few cars roamed the streets, and though eerie, Bucky decided that the silence that surrounded him was nice.

The silence gave him time to think.

To think about where he would go, what he would do there, and how he would cope without Steve.

He didn't really have a plan, he would honestly Just like to go wherever he could.

He just knew it had to be far away from Steve.

Steve would probably come looking for him, Bucky had no doubt about that. He would call his friends in the morning when he found Bucky's note and tell them all what had happened.

Then his friends would look at Bucky like he was a lost, lovesick puppy.

Bucky could regularly only handle being around a few of Steve's friends at a time.

He liked Natasha, Bruce, and Wanda.

But the rest of them looked at Bucky like he was a misfit with a metal arm.

Which, Bucky knew, he was, but being around Steve usually made him forget for just a little while about his past.

Just for a little.

It always came back in his dreams.

He would be sleeping dreamlesy when the quick image of himself holding a gun to the back of someone's head would wake him up with a jolt.

The first few times he had the dreams, he would yell out into the night, sending Steve running.

Eventually , Bucky would feel so awful about waking Steve up that he would forcefully clamp his metal hand, which didn't move very much unconsciously, over his mouth so when he did scream, the sound would be muffled until his shrieks turned into whimpers, and Steve would be allowed to sleep.

More than often, he had wanted to tip toe into Steve's room and lay down beside him.

He wanted to wrap his arms around Steve's waist and rest his head on his chest and have Steve softly caress his head.

He had wanted a lot of things with Steve, but all possibilities vanished when he'd kissed him.

Bucky sighed as he approached the bus stop sign. He sat down on the bench beside the sign, wondering how long it would be before the bus got there.

He figured that maybe he could have done Just a little more planning before he left, but he knew he wouldn't be able to look Steve in the eye after kissing him.

At least I chose a nice month to run away in, he thought to himself. He was grateful for the warm August air, and that he currently wouldn't have to worry about being cold.

Before he found a small, abandoned apartment in Romania, Bucky had lived outside until the middle of February.

He had mainly slept huddled up in a deserted alley next to a trash can. He never had a blanket, so he was usually freezing.

Bucky had certainly not taken it for granted when Steve had given him a warm bed to sleep in.

Bucky had began to lightly drift off to sleep for a few moments, before the harsh screech of a bus snapped him out of his slumber.

He claimed up the stairs onto the bus as the old lady at the wheel looked him up and down and said, "Ten bucks, kid. "

Bucky nodded but said nothing as he fished ten crumpled bills out of his coat pocket and handed it to the lady.

The lady snatched it up and screeched at him, "Go have a seat. "

The old, worn down bus seats were all empty except for two, so Bucky chose one in the center of the bus.

The man leaned propped his pillow up against the window, grateful that he had brought it, rested his head on the pillow and drifted off.

***Steve's Point Of View****

Steve Rogers was awakened by the voice of an crummy television ad selling high heels.

Don't need any of those, he thought to himself as he pushed the power button on the remote, silencing the television.

He laid his head back down and closed his eyes, ready for sleep to take him under again, before his eyes opened again and he wondered why he was in his jeans.

Then the reality hit him.

Bucky had kissed him last night.

And he'd gotten no sleep because of it.

So he'd finally turned on the television to mute his thoughts, rather than pacing back and forth in his bedroom.

He looked at the clock on his wall, which told him it was six minutes after eight in the morning.

Steve grabbed his shirt off the floor, pulling it over his shoulders, and exited his bedroom.

He knocked on the door to the guest bedroom where Bucky resided.

Bucky usually slept in, so it wouldn't be surprising if the man was still sleeping, but Steve had this awful premonition due to the past night's events.

He knocked again, and still got no answer.

Steve pushed the door open and walked inside.

It was empty.

The bed was unmade, one of the blankets was missing along with a pillow, and so was his friend.

Steve ran out and peeked into the other rooms in the house.

Bucky wasn't in the bathroom or the kitchen or the living room.

He walked back into the kitchen where his eyes glimpsed over a note.

His orbs just barely caught the words til the end of the line, and Steve Rogers felt his heart shatter.