emptier → nate maloley

one

three years later

i sighed arriving home, it was after midnight. another late shift at the diner. gotta pay off these college loans somehow. i unlocked the door to my house, strolling in.

i know what youre thinking, how does a college student have a house? it's nothing fancy. dad bought me this as a graduation gift, it's mine as long as i keep up my grades and stay out of trouble.

i take off my uniform and draw a warm bath, quickly stepping in. i soak and close my eyes, leaning back. i've been really stressed out lately with all the tests and final exams coming up.  thankfully, i graduate this year. yale has been a pain in my ass. oh, and yes i did get into yale! my acceptation letter came in a couple days after graduation.

i take my time bathing, just happy to be off my feet before getting out the tub. i dry myself off and slip on a comfy shirt that belong to my boyfriend shawn; his shirt was already long enough to stop right before my knee level, so i decided against shorts.

i walk into my kitchen to grab a water bottle. i take my medicine like i do everyday before bed, like i'm supposed to. i stop when i heard strange noises from outside my door... on my porch. i quickly look at the time: three o eight.
all of this is waaaaaay too familiar.

no, no, no. i shook my head, this can't be happening, it better be an animal or something.

i pretty much run over to my door and opened it, semi surprised at who i see.

nate.

the boy that i left heart in pieces.

my heart stopped as soon as i see him, but i kept my composure.

i cross my arms across my chest and lean against the doorframe. "nate, what are you doing on my porch at three am?" i huff, resisting the urge to roll my eyes.

nate licked his lips before smiling. "we gotta stop meeting like this huh?" he still looks the exact same way i left him... just much older.

i actually do roll my eyes this time. "what're you doing here?" i sigh.

nate's body slumps. i guess he was expecting a different reaction from me. "uh, bryan- i asked and he gave me your address." i roll my eyes, remind me to kill bryan later. "look mia, it wasn't easy to find you-"

"then why are you here?" i question. "why did you follow me all the way out to connecticut?"

nate took a deep breath, shoving his hands into his pockets. "i'm still in love with you mia joyce, and if you think i've forgotten about you, you're deadass wrong."

i shift, looking at him. "but you never even contacted me."

"that's because YOU cut me out." he exclaimed. "you're the one who left mia, not me."

i take a deep breath. "i'm sorry nate, that was a shitty thing to do-"

"it was." he interrupted me.

my face fell, i'm not in the mood for his snarky remarks. "but that doesn't mean you can come show up at my house like old times," i tell him. "i've moved on." i tug down on the shirt i was wearing, i should've put something under shawn's shirt.

nate watches me, "what's his name?" nate sighs but says calmly.

i furrow my eyebrows together. "what?"

"your boyfriend." nate's brown lovely eyes meet mine.

i shift under his stare, clearing my throat. "shawn. his name is shawn."

"how long have you guys been dating?"

"we're an on and off thing." i say with a shrug.

"and is that what you really want?" nate questions me.

"what?" i ask, not understanding his question.

"do you want an on and off relationship or do you want to be with me, knowing i'd never let you leave my side."

"nate-" i sigh.

"answer the question mia." he says sternly.

"nate, this is not the time for this." i sighed, placing my hand on my forehead. "it's late and i have classes in the morning."

"well," nate rocked on his heels. "see, this isn't really how i planned for this to go, so i kinda don't have a place to stay."

i groaned and motioned for him to come inside. i tell him there's an extra room and he thanks me.

"where's the bathroom?" he ask. i point and nods, walking off.

i sigh quietly, watching him. after the breakup, we never spoke again. i never saw him around, but it's not like i left the house much anyway, to busy studying- but what's new? dad was more than happy when i told him nate was out the picture, but that didn't mean i got all my privileges back. i was reckless with nate and that something i tried to avoid. getting my grades back up without the guys distracting me was easy.

i think it's really sweet of him to come all this way to me again, but he's only wasting his time. i've moved on, i'm okay now.

if only i realized how much emptier i was without him back then, things could've been different.