emptier → nate maloley

four

nate's pov

(( switching things up ;) ))

the fact that i never told mia i loved her pisses me off, my being the stupid idiot i am told her when she was drunk and wouldn't remember a single thing. i always meant to get around to it but never really.... and now three years later, here she is looking more beautiful than ever with a prick of a boyfriend that should be.

i don't know why it took me so long to finally reach out to mia after all these years, but i know i'm way too late. but she doesn't look happy- mia doesn't fool me. i see the emptiness behind her eyes and it's not just the depression. she misses me just as much as i miss her.

i turn off the light by her desk and suddenly the room becomes completely dark. it takes me all my strength not to get in the bed with her. i look at her once last time before exiting her room.

i see the bottle of pills on the kitchen counter and place them inside her bag for her. it kills me knowing she has to take these and i'm part of the reason she does. if only i would've checked up on her or tried to get her back, i could've helped. i never wanted mia to feel alone, she has me.

i was a mess after our breakup too but mainly i didn't know what to do with myself, i stayed up all night just thinking about how things went wrong. i didn't know that she hated being compared to mj, i thought of it as a flattering thing if i'm being honest.

i'm good with girls, just not relationships.

i walk around mia's house, just checking out the way she decorated it. i remember going up to mia's even though her dad hated me, i needed to see her.

i took a deep breath and jogged up the porch giving mia's door a good hard knock. my heart pulsed, scared of seeing the girl that left almost four years ago. i know it's been a while but i've been giving her time.

"what are you doing here man?" it was bryan who answered.

i calmed down a bit. "hey, is mia home?"

bryan shook his head and looked down. "no one told you?" my heart quickened as i shook my head. did something bad happen to her? "mia got into yale," bryan continued. "my dad bought her a house and shit down there."

a smile broke out on my face. my girl got into yale? i wish i would've been there to celebrate with her and oh god, the celebration sex would've been amazing.

i coughed, pushing the dirty thoughts out my head. "can you give me her address?" bryan huffed, looking away from me. "please. i really need to see her."

he sighed hesitantly before walking off. i stared dumbfounded at the open door. a few  later, he came back with a ripped piece of paper in his hand. "here's her address."

i smiled and stuffed the paper in my pocket, "thanks man."

"good luck." was all he said to me before closing the door.

i didn't hesitate to find my way to mia. as soon as i got her location, i wanted my baby and nothing was gonna stop me.

expect the fact when i got here she wasn't too pleased to see my like i'd hope. i mean, i didn't expect her to throw her arms around or nothing but shit; a smile would've been nice.

and the fact that she has a dickhead boyfriend who fucking looks like he just got out of junior high. he probably cries when they fuck.

i roll my eyes at the thought of him and cringe at the thought of them fucking.

but whatever, all i know is the shawn boy gotta go.