emptier → nate maloley

two

i poured my coffee into my cup as i waited for nate to get up. i had classes in a few and i didn't feel comfortable leaving nate alone in my house while i was gone, hopefully by the time i get back he'll be gone. 

"morning." i heard his raspy voice, making me look up. he looked really tired making me wonder if he got any sleep at all. 

"hey." i greeted him back as he made his way into the kitchen. 

"you heading out?" he asked. 

"yeah, i have a few classes today then i gotta get to work." i inform him. 

nate furrowed his eyebrows. "work? you work?" i nod. "wow, never thought i'd see the day where mia villegas had a job." 

i chuckled, rolling my eyes. "shut up." i look and see him just staring, i cough to break the tension. "so uh, when are you leaving?"

nate chuckled and shook his head, "i let you live in my house for about three months and you're already kicking me out after one night in yours? damn."

i roll my eyes again. "no one told you come."

"i wanted to." he quickly replied. 

i nodded. "i know that. now that you've seen me, you can go back to your life."

"it hasn't been that easy." he said, walking around the island, checking out the things i had laying around. 

i furrow my eyebrows, "what do you mean?"

"i don't want to go back to my life if you're not in it." he said, those brown eyes meeting mine again. 

i quickly break contact before he got the wrong idea. 

"what's this?" i hear him say. i look up and my eyes widen when he's holding my pills. 

"give that back!" i quickly reach for it. 

nate snatches it back before i could even take it. he's always been taller than me and he had the advantage at this point. "what is this mia?" he repeats. 

"they're pills." i say. "anti depressants." i clarify. 

nate's eyes widened as i slump my shoulders. "mia..." he trails. 

i shake my head, "it's fine, nate." i successfully take the pills from him and put them in my bag. 

"i didn't know..." guilt was written all over his face. 

"how could you?" i shrug. "we haven't talked or seen each other in three years." 

he frowns, "i know, but i should've fought harder for us.... when were you, uh, prescribed those?" he nods towards my bag. 

"after our breakup." i say quietly. 

nate's face completely falls. "mia." 

"it's okay nate, it's not your fault. i just fell in a really dark place." i say as i hug myself. 

"you didn't like to kill yourself or anything right?" he eyes me. 

i quickly shake my head, "no! nothing like that. i just felt abandoned..." nate opens his mouth to say something but i beat him to it. "i know. i'm the one who left." 

after nate and i broke up i had no choice but to go back home to dad and bryan. it was silly of me to think nate and i were going to be together forever- that was stupid high school me. dad took me back when i told him that i realized nate was no good for me and i was on the wrong path and he was only dragging me down further- all lies though. it was all me, i was the only one bringing myself down. if anything, nate wanted to bring me up. 

it was hard living the lie i had told dad just for him to let me back in the house. everyday i missed and longed for nate. it was strange not waking up next to him like i had gotten used to, i wanted to contact him all the time but dad and i were finally coming back together and i didn't want to jeopardize it. 

the hole in my heart widen from my mom, to dillion, and then nate. i was empty. emptier than you can even imagine. dana made life a little easier, but she ended moving in the middle of the years and then i was fully alone. i had no other friends and it was hard to make friends at this point. so i finished senior year by myself. 

when i moved out here, i was slowly piecing myself back together. i was ready for a fresh start. during my first year, that's where i met shawn. he was in one of my classes. he had a girlfriend at the time so we were just friends and studying parents. eventually he broke up with his girlfriend and we got together. we were in the honey moon phase for the longest but then things got a little rough, there were arguments after arguments and eventually led to us breaking up. shawn would eventually come back and we'd make up and get back together, this happened more than once. 

a chime from the front door, brought me out my thoughts. i furrow my eyebrows. who could be here this early in the morning? i look at nate before making my way to my door, opening it. 

"hey babe," shawn greeted, leaning in and kissing my cheek. "ready to go?" my eyes widen, i quickly forgot he was taking me to class this morning. 

"you must be shawn." i heard a deep voice from behind me. nate pushed me out the way with a huge smile on his face. nathan maloley what are you doing? 

shawn quickly looks between me and nate. nate has the most amused look on his face. "uh, mia, who is this?"

"shawn this is nate, nate this is my boyfriend, shawn." i say from behind nate's large frame. 

"the ex." nate adds with a smirk on his face. 

"and what are you doing here?" shawn asked, trying to not to let his anger push through. 

"well when mia called last night saying she needed dick, who was i to refuse?" he smiled, i know he's enjoying this so much. 

shawn's jaw clenched and i quickly push nate aside. "we should go. i can't be late." i say to shawn. "bye nate." 

"goodbye sweetheart." he smirks waving me off. i scowl and walk off with shawn. 

"what the fuck mia?" shawn growls when we get inside his car. "that's your ex nate?"

"i'm sorry!" i sigh. "he just showed up last night and i didn't know what to do!"

"uh, tell him to go back to wherever he came from." shawn said in a duh tone.

"i couldn't do that..." i say slowly, leaning back in the seat. 

shawn looks over at me. "do you still have feelings for him?" 

"no." i answer quietly. shawn gives me a look that shows he doesn't believe me. "i don't!"

shawn nods and starts the car. he reaches for my hand while he's driving and rubs the top of my hand with his thumb, making me smile. "i love you mia."

"i love you too shawn." i grin. 

"but nate better be gone by the time i come back or we're going to have serious problems." he said making my smile drop.