emptier → nate maloley

sixteen

i look back and forth between nate and nadia. we were all seated at the table and we were already eating. but the tension between everyone was terrible,

"how do you guys know each other?" i spoke out loud, mostly directing my question to nate. 

"uh," nadia spoke up instead. "i was friends with his girlfriend mary jane... and we also hooked up a few times." she added the last part quietly. "i was a year or two older than the both of them."

"oh." my eyes widened as i pushed green beans into my mouth and i look over at nate. he just stared at his plate. 

"so you just sleep around." dad snorted. "who is mary jane?" he asked looking at nate. 

"she was my last girlfriend." nate nodded. 

"and where is she now?" he probed more. i slightly widened my eyes giving my dad a scolding look. 

"she's dead, sir." he spoke quietly, his eyes returning to the plate. "mia reminds me a lot of her." 

i smile slightly and take his hand in mine. i look at my father with confidence. "we actually bought the house from mary jane's parents."

"so how did you two meet exactly?" dad pointed the fork he was holding, switching between nate and i. 

"he was around the house," i speak up before nate does. "then we got to talking and into hanging out." nate looks over at me and smiles slightly, but i could tell something else was bothering him. 

dad stared skeptically at nate as he chewed his food slowly. i look over at bryan who had no idea what to do either in this situation and would totally rather be somewhere else as well. 

"so," dad said after a while of silence and staring. "you just so happen to meet my daughter who reminds you of your deceased ex, who lives in her house?" dad narrowed his eyes slightly. where was he going with this? "what were you doing around the house?"

"it was around the time of her death and i needed closure." nate replied simply. 

"now how does my daughter take place in this?" he asked, leaning back in his chair. "you could've simply just went on with your life. but no, you kept pursing mia who you said reminds you of mary jane."

"dad?" i furrow my eyebrows, not understanding where he was trying to get. 

he ignores me. "what? were you trying to replace this girl with my daughter?"

"he talked about his feelings with me." i defended nate who was oddly silent. 

"bullshit." dad snorted. "mia, this boy was trying to use to fill the empty void left from his ex."

i shook my head, "that's not true." i look over at nate who continued to stare at the plate of food in front of him instead of anything else. "nate?"

"i never meant to fall in love with you, mia." he said, finally looking at me. 

my heart dropped as we both held this contact. i see dad shake his head as if he just accomplished something spectacular. 

"what are you talking about?" i feel my chest heave and suddenly the walls seem to be caving in. 

"what he means is, darling daughter, nate here just wanted someone to take the pain away." dad shook his head again. "he didn't love you like you loved him. he wanted a replacement."

i glance back at nate. "please tell me that's not true." i hear the crack in my voice as i'm about to cry. 

"i'm really sorry, mia." nate's eyes are red and glossy, but he's not crying. 

i close my eyes and bury my face into my hands. was this whole relationship a lie? what was i ever to nate? did i fall for him when he never fell for me? 

"mia-" the voice belonged to no one other than my boyfriend. 

i was now the one to stare at my plate instead of facing confrontation. "i think you should go." i say to him. "and i don't think you you should come back."  i add the last softly, using all my strength to make the words leave my lips. 

i feel nate continue to stare at me a bit before i hear the chair sliding back and footsteps walking away. we all knew nate was truly gone when we heard the door slam shut. as soon as it did, the waterworks escaped. i sobbed right then and there in front of bryan, nadia and my father. 

"this is what happens when you don't listen to your father mia." i herded say before he too got up, leaving the dinner table. 

i don't hear bryan or nadia say anything but they both get up as well and leave me to myself. 

so here i am, all alone, on christmas eve, crying over a guy who i thought loved me but really just wanted me as a place holder. 

this empty feeling truly sucks. 

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this is a sucky ass chapter but i haven't wrote in a while and its 6 am so i kinda threw this together, so i hope you all enjoy this wack ass chapter. 

i just realized in both my books theres no happy ending on christmas lolololol. oops. oh well. 

anyway, 

happy holidays/ merry (early) christmas! <3