emptier → nate maloley

seventeen

nate's pov

i could've denied it all, but i've been guilty long enough. she always asked me why i stuck around and that was the reason. i did try to replace mary jane with her, i didn't mean to fall in love... it happened.

"hey man, how'd the dinner go?" swazz asked as i barged through the door.

i shook my head, "we broke up."

"what?" gilinsky furrowed his eyebrows. "why?"

"i fucked up. nadia was there... it was a shit show." i shook my head again and removed my tie.

"nadia?" sam questioned. "from high school?"

i nodded. "she dates mia's brother now."

"boy she was always hot." sam muttered which caused me to roll my eyes.

"wait, that still doesn't answer why you guys broke up." swazz still had his eyebrows furrowed.

"i fucked up, okay?" i barked. no one bothered to say anything else after that. i scoffed and headed to my room, slamming the door behind me.

-

mia's pov

i sat by my window and just stared out. pretty sure this a cliche, dramatic, heart broken girl type of movie scene. i stared out into the darkness in front of me. i heard two knocks on my door, getting my attention.

"hey."

"hey." i replied back quietly to bryan.

"how ya holding up?"

i shrugged, "i'm okay." i softly smile. "did nadia leave?"

bryan nodded, "yeah, i just walked her out." i nod and go back to looking out the window. "i'm sorry about what happened with nate. i should kick his ass."

i stifle a laugh, "thanks bryan." i feel him kiss the top of my head before he exits my room.

i exhale, continuing to stare at the darkness in front of me. the street lights were the only thing i could see.

right now, i could be with shawn and possibly engaged; but instead, i'm crying over a guy who was never right for me but yet i still wanted him. i should've listened to dad- he was right all along.

nate never loved you

he never wanted you

why would he want you?

no one would ever want you

remember your mom? she left you. she didnt want you either

pathetic

dillon didn't want you either; he cheated

i shut my eyes, burying my head in between my knees. the oh so friendly voices are back. they came after nate and i broke up the first time. dana helped me get prescriptions and explain myself to dad and bryan. i always took my pills until i started dating nate again. i was happy, there was no need to take them.

but this dark hole is coming back and of course i didn't bring my medication, i figured this was would be a trip full of love... boy was i wrong.

mary jane will always be better

she will always have nate's heart

you are nobody to him

you will never be mary jane

"i don't want to be her." i said back to the voice in my head. have i gone completely crazy?

be just like mary jane and maybe nate will love you

make nate love you

you need nate to love you

i roll my eyes. bipolar ass thoughts.

but is that what i needed to do? do i have to become just like her to make nate want me?