Toast

Chapter Twelve // Fragile

- Priya's POV -

After school ended me and Carrie-Anne dragged Ashley to her bedroom because she was still extremely hung over, somehow Ashley thinks that drinking more alcohol will get rid of her hang over which is ridiculous.

"You guys are such great friends" She mumbled as we helped her into bed and threw a blanket over her, she instantly fell asleep. Me and Carrie-Anne stared at each other before shaking our heads, we headed back to our room in silence.

I wanted to shout at her for the comment she made about Elizabeth looking like Sydney because it triggered memories once again. Carrie-Anne is the person who decided to drop her big opportunities in better schools to come here and take care of me because she is the only person who knows how fragile I am deep down. I owe a lot to her and I don't say thank you enough, I feel bad for that.

Carrie-Anne opened three books and set them on her desk, I stared at her weirdly and she smiled at me.

"I have a lot of homework to do Priya, I'm going to be here all night" She muttered before grabbing some pens and getting started, I sighed loudly and threw myself on my bed. What am I suppose to do all night if my only friends are passed out from alcohol and actually caring about school?

"I'm going to the common room" I muttered to Carrie-Anne as I left our bedroom, she was too busy to even hear me. I stormed down the corridors trying to show every person I passed that I was in a really bad mood, they seemed afraid. The good thing about me is I can be whoever I want to be and at this boarding school I'm the intimidating blonde bimbo who everybody wants to be.

I walked towards the common room door before glancing through the window and seeing Elizabeth sitting on the sofa, she was alone and watching TV. I stopped what I was doing and stared at her for a while before I realised she was looking straight at me. I opened the door and entered the room.

"Do you want me to leave?" Elizabeth asked me, I rolled my eyes at her.

"No, it's fine" I said while walking passed her and going into the kitchen, I decided to make myself some toast. I peeked out into the common room to stare at Elizabeth once again. Now that Carrie-Anne had connected her to Sydney, I couldn't stop seeing her every time I looked at Elizabeth. They looked so alike.

I glanced at the TV to see that she was watching ballet, I looked back at her weirdly as she watched it with a smile on her face.

"You like ballet?" I asked her, she jumped slightly because she didn't know I was watching her. Elizabeth nodded and smiled wider.

"I have a huge passion for it, even if I can't dance to save my life. It's just.. so beautiful" She explained with her eyes glued to the TV, I smiled slightly and went back into the kitchen to wait for my toast. I wandered around the kitchen looking through the empty cupboards, it looked like everybody had already eaten this weeks food.

Suddenly my heart felt like it had stopped as I heard the music playing on the TV, a ballerina was dancing to Yurima.. I stood in silence for a moment in shock, I promised myself I would never listen to this music ever again.

I stormed into the common room and snatched the remote out of Elizabeth's hand to turn the TV off, Elizabeth pounced on me and we began fighting over the remote.

"TURN IT OFF!" I shouted loudly while trying to press the button, instead of doing so I turned the volume up because of Elizabeth jumping on me.

"Give me it back! I'm watching the ballet!" She shouted angrily, I began to cry because the music wouldn't stop. I could see everything that had happened as the music played a few months back, I was on the floor and I was shaking in fear as my dad continued to attack me.

I dropped the remote, covered my ears and shut my eyes tightly while crying as the music continued to play loudly in the common room.

"Priya what is wrong with you?!" Elizabeth shouted at me, I scrunched up my face and cried louder in terror. She obviously knew something was wrong because then there was silence and the TV was off. I held my breath with my ears still covered and eyes still closed, I could feel Elizabeth standing close to me.

"The TV is off now.." She whispered, her hands reached for mine so that I would stop covering my ears. I kept my eyes shut.

"Why won't you open your eyes? Priya?" Elizabeth asked in confusion, there were tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I can't" I muttered.

"I don't understand, have I done something to upset you?" She asked me, I shook my head quickly.

"You look like her, you make me think of her" I told Elizabeth while crying more than before, I opened my eyes to see her staring in confusion. I pushed passed her and left the common room and also the boarding house, I needed fresh air.

I didn't think Elizabeth would follow after me, why does she care that I'm upset? I've been so rude to her and Amber.

I walked quickly down the pathway outside the boarding house with Elizabeth running after me, I wiped my tears and ignored her as she repeatedly called my name.

"What do you mean Priya?" Elizabeth asked me while grabbing onto my arm to stop me from walking any further.

"Sydney! Are you happy now?!" I shouted angrily, Elizabeth still had no idea what I meant or why I was so worked up about ballet being on the TV.

"Is this why you were crying yesterday?" She asked me, I looked at her in shock. Now I know why Carrie-Anne wouldn't tell me everything about yesterday, Elizabeth had seen me in that state.

"No, it's none of your business and you will never know" I said rudely while pulling my arm away from her grip, Elizabeth looked upset with me. She stared at the ground and sighed loudly.

"If you tell anybody about the way I was yesterday I will hurt you" I threatened her while pointing in her face, she didn't seem to care what I was saying.

"Priya, you can trust me. All I want to do is help" Elizabeth said quietly, she was still looking to the ground. I stared at her in shock at the things she was saying to me, I shook it from my head and closed my eyes again. I can't trust somebody I don't know.

I began to feel angry with Elizabeth because she was changing how I felt about her, I wanted to hate her and make her feel like crap because she was beautiful and happy. I didn't want her and Amber to have everything, I am the one who deserves everything. I tightened my fists and held my breath as she continued to stare at the ground.

"Stop being fucking nice to me alright?! I know you hate me!" I shouted in anger, Elizabeth gasped.

"No. Stop closing your eyes Priya" She said, I could tell she was angry with me too. I waited for a moment before opening my eyes again and staring directly into Elizabeth's eyes. I could feel Sydney's presence by just staring, I'd never felt it before.

I held my tears in as we continued to look at each other without saying anything, I could feel my heart thumping out of my chest. Sydney's smile and beautiful face appeared in my mind as if she was telling me to be happy, no more anger or sadness.

I had been blocking out any thoughts of Sydney for months on end because it was too painful to see her in my head and not in person, I needed her here. I burst into tears once again with Elizabeth staring at me, she frowned while watching the tears fall down my face.

"Talk to me.." Elizabeth whispered but I could hear Sydney's voice instead, I wiped my tears quickly and looked away from her.

"Another time, I promise" I told Elizabeth, she nodded. I thanked her for caring and then walked off, alone and broken once again.

I looked back at Elizabeth who was standing in the same spot I left her in, did I brake her too?