Toast

Chapter Forty One // Second Best

- Elizabeth's POV - 

The train journey home was quiet and heartbreaking, Priya spent the whole journey staring out the window and not speaking once. I didn't know what to say or how to comfort her because it was such a complex and upsetting topic. Imagine being told that your mother committed suicide and finding out eleven years later? 

"Priya.. I'm proud of you for today" I whispered to her while nudging her left side, she stayed silent and didn't move a muscle. I sat back in my seat and sighed quietly while glancing around the empty train, the only person I could see was a man not far from us using a newspaper as a pillow. 

"Thanks" Priya replied quietly without turning to look at me, I stared at the back of her head for a moment with a frown on my face. I felt bad that I wasn't able to console her but if I was in her position I would want space too. The train was approaching our stop so we got up from our warm seats to wait at the automatic doors, Priya's face was slightly red so I knew she had been crying again. 

We got off the train and Priya took the lead as we walked back to the boarding house, my worst fear was that she would have another breakdown just like last time. I tried to catch up with her but she was walking as quickly as she could so instead of running I gave up and let her speed ahead. I walked slowly and watched her rush across the empty car park and enter the boarding house double doors, I sighed loudly and made my way there too.

I pulled the heavy doors open before seeing Priya standing by herself staring into the common room, I approached her and looked in to see Ashley and Carrie-Anne. They looked like they were having a serious conversation as Carrie-Anne's facial expressions were terrifying. Priya glanced at me and I did the same, she smiled slightly before giving me a quick hug.

"Thank you for supporting me today, I couldn't have done it without you" Priya whispered as she pulled away from me, I could feel Ashley's eyes on us as we hugged. 

"I'm going to join my friends so you can go.." Priya said awkwardly when she noticed Ashley staring, I nodded and walked off quickly because the air was instantly filled with tension. I hurried up the stairs and made my way back to me and Amber's bedroom, I was excited to see her as we hadn't hung out all day since school. I expected her to be studying or daydreaming about Jade when I entered our room but instead she was doing something I would have never guessed.. 

I walked into me and Amber's bedroom with a smile on my face to greet her but before I could say anything my jaw dropped in shock and fear at who was sitting on my bed talking to Amber. Connie, the girl who I fell in love with last year was crying to Amber about something and Amber looked scared to see me returning. They both stared at me without saying anything for a minute and I wanted the ground to swallow me up. 

"Effie, you're back.. Connie was just catching me up on you and her history together" Amber told me nervously, Connie wiped her eyes and nodded to confirm what they were talking about. I glanced at them both quickly without a word in my mouth to say, what the hell am I suppose to say?! 

"What the fuck?.. What the fuck!?" I shouted angrily as all of the old memories came flooding back into my head as soon as I saw Connie's face. Rejection, heartbroken, sadness, loneliness, anger. I could feel my stomach bubbling as if I was going to throw up all over the floor before me but instead I stormed out of the room and hurried down the corridor to get as far away as possible from Connie. 

Instead of getting away from her she began to chase me down the corridor while shouting my name and crying loudly, I stopped walking and told her to be quiet. I turned to her and waited for her to catch up with me, she sobbed quietly and continued to wipe her eyes as she approached me. My hands were locked tightly into fists and I was biting my lip to try and hold back my anger.. But I couldn't. 

"How dare you show up here after everything you put me through!? You made me feel worthless!" I shouted in her face which made her cry again but I didn't care. I didn't care if everybody in the dorms around us could hear my voice, I needed to tell Connie how she made me feel back in the day when I was utterly in love with her. 

"I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry! I-I have something to tell you, I have an explanation!" Connie shouted back at me, I rolled my eyes at her words and she frowned deeply. I told her to continue what she was saying as I was excited to find out her explanation, knowing it would be bullshit as all she did back then was tear me apart.

"When you left to move here the girls bullied me, they only put up with me because you were my friend. Ava told me that she always knew that you were in love with me but she never told you about her assumptions and she knows you are gay.." Connie explained calmly, she had finally stopped crying until I laughed loudly at what she was telling me.

"Firstly, I'm not gay. Secondly I'm pretty sure everybody knew I was in love with you, even my homophobic parents knew except for you! You were so clueless! You used me so you wouldn't feel alone until you found a stupid boy to fuck. Did you fill up that empty hole inside? Because I didn't and I never will because you screwed me up Connie, I truly hate you!" I yelled at the top of my lungs while crying, Connie stood frozen in one spot. She seemed shocked by the words that were spilling out of my mouth. Amber watched the drama from our bedroom door in the distance, she had one hand on her forehead because she knew Connie had messed up by coming here. 

"Me and Jay broke up.. He cheated on me" Connie whispered before lowering her head, I stared at her in shock because for some reason I thought she had came here to rub her relationship in my face. 

"I realised something once he left, he wasn't the one for me at all. I know that I love you Elizabeth and I feel awful for hurting you last year because I didn't mean to. I love you" Connie continued to speak quietly with eyes focused on the ground, I stared at her in disbelief and anger. Is this a joke? Does she want me to go insane? 

I had no words left to scream in her face, I knew that she did not love me one bit and she never did. All of this was lies because she had lost Jay and she needed somebody else to babysit her all of the time, I'm not going to be walked over anymore and especially not by her. She looked up at me a moment later because I hadn't replied, I shook my head in shame before turning away and walking off.

"Elizabeth where are you going? Elizabeth answer me!" Connie shouted as I walked off and left her standing alone, what a dramatic evening this has turned into.