Toast

Chapter Thirty Five // Used

- Elizabeth's POV -

When school was over I decided to invite Priya to my dorm room just to chill out and listen to music, we never really get to spend any time alone and I think we need that if we are to get closer. Priya accepted and walked back to the boarding house with me when our last class finished, she seemed to be in a better mood today.

"So, when do you start your cleaning job and counselling?" I asked her quietly as there were lots of girls walking around.

"Next week, I am not looking forward to it" Priya answered before laughing slightly, I nodded as we entered the boarding house and made our way up the stairs.

We walked through the corridors and made it to me and Amber's dorm, I unlocked the door and pushed it open to see an empty room. Where is Amber? I was suddenly extremely worried about her. The last time I had seen her was early this morning when she stormed out of the school.

"Carrie-Anne is covering for me, we're all good" Priya said while holding two thumbs up, we entered the room and I closed the door behind me.

"Covering for you? I don't understand" I told her in confusion, she sat down on my bed.

"So Ashley doesn't know what I'm up to, if she knew I was here she would be suspicious"

"Suspicious that you were hanging out with a friend? Why are you so afraid to tell her who you really are?! If she was your friend she would accept you" I said in a serious tone, Priya stared at me angrily. I hate that she sneaks around and hides her sexuality from her friends, its stupid and they aren't really caring friends if they don't accept her.

"Why are you getting pissy with me Elizabeth? You're not exactly out either" Priya snapped, I sighed loudly and looked down at my phone.

"That's because I have no fucking clue what my sexuality is, you seem to have known yours for a long time" I muttered while opening up my text messages and thinking of something to message to Amber.

"Hey, I just wanted to know if you are safe or not.. I'm really worried about you" I messaged Amber while overthinking where she could possibly be. I set my phone down on the bed beside Priya, she was huffing with me.

"I'm sorry, I just wish you could be honest with yourself. It might make you feel happier and confident" I apologised with a frown on my face, Priya glanced at me and shrugged her shoulders. We sat awkwardly in silence for a moment or two before I noticed Amber's record player sitting in the corner of the room, it's bound to impress Priya!

"Hey look how cool this is, the sound is incredible on it!" I said excitedly while hurrying across the room and opening the record player, Priya watched me with a smile on her face.

"Cool, is it yours?" Priya asked, I looked back at her and shook my head. I explained that it was Amber's but I clearly adored it more than her, my phone buzzed on the bed and I took no notice to it as I was too busy admiring the record player.

"Barry Parker? Who the fuck is this?!" Priya said angrily, my heart dropped into my stomach as I turned around and saw her staring at my phone screen. Priya's uncle had messaged me back on Facebook. I stared at her in shock while the record player began to play behind me.

"Look.. Don't freak out I was just trying to help" I said calmly, I walked across the room and took my phone from her. She stared at me with her mouth wide open, just waiting for me to explain myself.

"I found your uncle on Facebook and I asked him if he could talk to you about your mum, I know that would help you get closure.." I told Priya, she gasped angrily. I unlocked my phone and opened up the message to see what he said, I read it out to Priya.

"Hi Elizabeth, thank you for getting in touch with me:). I would gladly meet up with Priya as I haven't spoke to her since she was little, I'm sure she is very confused about this whole situation also. Would tomorrow evening be good? Get back to me with a yes or a no and we can plan."

Priya was speechless and I didn't know if it was good or bad, she looked like she wanted to strangle me so I'll go with bad.

"You had no right no contact my family!" Priya screamed, she got up from my bed and crossed her arms. I sighed loudly and stood up too, I had no idea what to say because I did it out of goodness. I could see how much her mothers death affected her and I wanted her to get the answers she deserved.

"I can't believe you Elizabeth! I'm leaving!" Priya shouted, she stormed out of the room and then hurried down the busy corridor. Fuck!

Everything I do is for other peoples happiness and peace, I try so hard to help the people around me but it's never any use. I get taken for granted and thrown around like a rag doll and it's been like that ever since I was little. In my friendship group back home I was treated like a slave, I would be the punchbag when somebody was angry. I would let them vent to me about anything but then when I had a problem I was left alone to deal with it, they never cared about me.

Suddenly the bedroom door knocked loudly and I prayed to god that it was Priya returning with an apology for storming off, I hurried to the door and opened it to see Elijah gripping tightly on to a very drunk Amber. I pulled them into the room quickly because if Elijah was caught in the girls boarding house he would be kicked out of the school.

"What happened to her?" I asked while Elijah set her on the bed gently, her head was rocking from side to side and she looked really upset.

"The gang were having a party and Amber decided to join us.. Everybody was drinking so I guess she was trying to fit in, she doesn't usually do this stuff" Elijah explained while keeping his focus on his best friend, Amber was holding onto his arms to keep herself steady.

"I just wanted to make friends because I don't have any, I'm a loner" Amber muttered, me and Elijah glanced at each other with a frown.

"I have no friends and I like Jade but she's just going to have sex with me and then leave!" She shouted before bursting into tears, I shook my head in shame and Elijah tried to comfort her. This is all my fault.

"I'm still your friend Amber, I promise. I'm really sorry for ditching you" I whispered to Amber while sitting down on the bed beside her, she nodded and rested her head on my shoulder.

"I feel awful for letting her drink" Elijah said quietly to me as Amber cried and soaked my shirt.

"It'll be fine, I can take care of her. You should get back to your own building before somebody sees you" I told Elijah, he agreed. He kissed Amber on the forehead before leaving the room, he thanked me and then sprinted down the corridor.

"Are we friends Effie?" Amber asked me, she looked up at me with bloodshot eyes that were half closed. She was about to pass out from exhaustion, I nodded and helped her stand up.

"We are, I think you should take a nap now Amber" I told her as we walked slowly to the other side of her bed, I helped her get comfortable under some fluffy blankets. I sat down at her bedside and sighed to myself as she stared at me.

"Thank you for caring so much about me Amber. You cared about Priya hurting me and I'm such a crap friend for pushing you away when all you did was care about me. You see.. I'm not used to that, I'm not used to having a friend who wants me to be happy. I didn't know how to accept everything you were doing for me so I ditched you and ignored you, I'll never do it again alright? I promise you Amber" I ranted to her while staring down at my hands, I looked up at her to see that she was fast asleep. I smiled and moved away from her to let her rest, she definitely needed it.