Toast

Chapter Thirty // The Wind In Our Hair

- Carrie-Anne's POV -

Me and Priya linked arms and left the group as Ashley huffed and ran in the opposite direction, we were finally free to talk about anything we wanted. When Ashley is around it's hard to have a deep and meaningful conversation with my best friend, Ashley knows nothing about our pasts.

"I am so relieved that is over and done with" I whispered to Priya while looking back at the assembly hall everybody was exiting from, we decided to go on a walk before going back to our room. She had a smile on her face because the fire situation was finally behind us, well that's what we thought.

"You should think about counselling.. for grief" I said, Priya stared at me angrily.

"Why? I'm not insane? I don't need to talk to somebody about my problems" She snapped as she moved away from me, I rolled my eyes at her comment.

"You're grieving and from what I've heard it's really affecting you. Counselling doesn't mean you are insane, it just means you need to work through things and you really do Priya" I explained to her with a frown, she shrugged her shoulders and pushed the topic of counselling aside.

"Grieving is weird, I feel like she is still here at times. I see her a lot.. My head is telling me that she is alive but she has somehow got magic powers, she teleport's to me" Priya rambled her thoughts on grief to me, what she said sounded crazy but I guess everybody deals with death differently.

"Has she ever mentioned me?!" I asked excitedly, Priya thought for a moment before shaking her head. We walked around the grassy area outside the boarding house while linking arms. I suddenly felt sad that I had never got a magical visit from Sydney, I missed her more than anybody - even more than my boyfriend who lives across the world. It felt like Sydney wasn't real and never was but then sometimes it feels like I spoke to her yesterday but in reality I didn't, the last time I saw her was the day she passed away.

"Why does she never visit me? That's not fair" I muttered while sighing, Priya laughed slightly.

"Maybe she doesn't want to upset you, she only ever comes to me when I'm sad or scared" Priya explained, I would feel blessed if Sydney showed up one day. Me and Priya decided to go back into the boarding house because it was getting cold outside, we took each others hand and ran to the front door.

When we entered the boarding house, everybody turned around and stared at us. The front hall was crowded with girls, they stared Priya up and down with disgusted looks on their faces. Priya looked across at me with fear in her eyes, what is happening in here?

Me and Priya held onto each other tighter as we pushed through the girls who were standing around doing nothing, until the lady at the front desk called us over.

"You're Priya right?" She asked, Priya nodded slowly.

"You need to follow me" The lady said, she got up and walked towards the interview room which is beside the office. Priya let go of me and followed the woman but I did too, I wasn't letting them push Priya into another breakdown.

"What is going on here?" I asked the lady loudly, she stared at me and then looked away. She opened the interview room door for Priya, I peeked in and saw two police men.

Shit, they found out the fire was her fault!

- Amber's POV -

I walked down the lane alone with tears streaming down my face after the argument with Effie, I felt bad for being rude to her but it had to be said. When I have a problem with somebody I hate keeping it inside for so long because then it eats me alive.

While walking alone I began to think about my brothers, I hadn't spoke to them since I left home to come to the boarding school. I took out my phone and messaged them to say sorry for not keeping in touch and also hoping that they were doing good. My mum messages me every night before she goes to bed, as you know me and her have a good relationship.

I suddenly felt homesick, I thought about my empty bedroom and the beautiful forest next to my house. I missed annoying my brothers and sitting in the hide out me and Elijah made. I could feel myself losing Effie and every other friend I potentially had at this school and I barely saw Elijah because he was an A* student with a huge group of cool friends.

I looked through old pictures that I had took on my phone as I walked down the lane, my tears were dripping onto the screen. I looked up from my phone and saw Jade sitting in her usual spot, she was smoking like she always does. I stared at her for a moment while standing still, she looked over and noticed me before telling me to join her.

I hurried over and sat down on the grass beside her, I wiped the tears off my face quickly and sighed to myself. Jade continued to look across the little river and smoke.

"Are the things you said to Elijah true?" I asked her out of no where, she stared at me in shock before smiling slightly.

"He told you?"

I unlocked my phone and began to play the voice message that Elijah sent me, everything Jade said. As it played she smiled, she was smiling happily at the beautiful comments she made about my personality and appearance.

"Do you want them to be true?" Jade asked me when the voice message had ended, I nodded slowly while staring at her. Jade put out her cigarette and moved closer to me, we were facing each other now.

She stared deeply into my eyes for a moment before putting her hands on my cheeks and wiping the tears away, I smiled slightly.

"Then yes, everything I said in that voice message is true. I believe all of those things about you" Jade said quietly, we were incredibly close to each other and her hands were still touching my face. She was so calm about confessing that she had feelings for me, how does she do that?

"I like how bright your eyes are even when you are sad" Jade whispered as she continued to stare into them, I laughed nervously because I had no idea what to say or do.

"How could you not guess that I like you? It was so obvious"

"I guess I didn't see it, I'm not good at this stuff" I answered in a quiet tone, I kept looking away from her face because I was so nervous. I didn't think Jade would ever like me the way I like her.

"Why did you never tell me? I had to find out from my sneaky best friend" I asked while rolling my eyes, Jade laughed and shrugged her shoulders.

Suddenly I had a strong urge to kiss her, right there. It would be the perfect time to do so, sitting by a river staring into each others eyes with the wind blowing in our hair.. It would've been perfect.

But knowing me I was too nervous to do so, I moved away from Jade and looked in the opposite direction which made everything feel awkward. Jade also backed away and laughed to herself, I looked at her weirdly.

"I'm going to kill Elijah for recording me, I'm sorry that I told you.. It's made things feel weird" Jade said before biting her lip, then I went speechless. All I wanted to do right now was confess my feelings too and then kiss her, it would be the perfect ending to this conversation but I froze in time once again.

Jade sighed loudly and got up from where she was sitting, I looked at her with a frown on my face as she backed away like she was going to leave me sitting alone.

"I hope this doesn't ruin the friendship we have, Are we chill?" Jade asked me, my head began to yell at me with random thoughts.

"TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL!"

"YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE YOUR CHANCE!"

"YOU HAVE MESSED IT UP!"

Instead of doing what I desperately wanted to do, I just nodded at her question and then she walked off. I watched her walk away and light another cigarette, I sighed loudly and glanced down at the river.

Maybe I'm not ready to date, what if I don't like girls at all?

"Shut up" I whispered to myself, I knew my brain was preparing to attack me with scary 'what ifs'.

I know I like Jade, I'm just afraid to get hurt. She isn't the type of girl who stays in relationships, I can tell she likes to have sex with girls and then never speak to them again. What if she did that with me?

I need to stop thinking.